Sometimes I think I have 'today' figured out then big bombs drop and I'm at a complete loss. It's causing me to have my own set of panic attacks and I don't know what to do but maybe not do anything at all.
My brother has Combat PTSD from being in Iraq but he also has an extremely selfish attitude when it comes to perspective and I'm pretty sure his wife is a big help in that.
My parents house burnt down last weekend and my dad who is physically handicap is now having panic attacks in the middle of crowded places. They are trying to keep it all together and (I thought) we were trying to assist them any way that we could.
Well, they live 3 hours from us and had been staying on the hide-a-bed in their neighbors home while they figured out the first few days meeting with the insurance adjuster. Then we invited them to come down here to the town both my brother and his wife and I all live in so we can celebrate Christmas with them here since the plan to 'go home' sort of fell through. It seemed fine but the rental that they found out they could move into just before they left called on Christmas morning and had not been winterized properly and all the pipes were frozen and/or broken. So again, they were technically "homeless".
They've been watching my brother's house and taking care of his and his wife's dogs while they actually left for Christmas to spend the holiday with her family. My folks have two dogs of their own which were originally mine a long time ago but I've been in and out of friends homes and apartments myself since losing my job and getting my life back in order a few years ago. So since I'm still in a tiny apartment and though I offered, they asked if the dogs could stay for a week with my brother at his house with their yard so that they could find themselves a place to rent with the dogs while their house gets rebuilt.
My brother said YES, but then called me telling me I needed to come get them because he couldn't handle it. He was having a PTSD attack. The problem is it was uncovered he was telling them one thing like a good son and ripping me a new one on the other line. He tells me things like he needs to make decisions for HIS family now and can't be helping Mom and Dad. This has been going on for a while but my parents have never seen it.
Now that they have, the dogs are in my apartment, my parents aren't talking to him, he emails all of us a guilt ridden letter about his PTSD and his own life's issues and mentions maybe he should just "check himself into a suicide ward, but he doesn't want to miss work tomorrow"... Stuff that is just absolutely "are you kidding me?!"
We all understand he was in war and has anxiety and bad dreams and have been there offering our support and putting up with his outbursts since before he even knew his wife. My problem is our family till recently has been extremely close. I've listened to him complain about my parents for a long time now. I've heard his wife complain about my parents. But in front of my parents, they have a different face and there isn't anything that my parents have done that should warrant complaints to begin with. It's stupid stuff where my brother and sis-in-law expect so much but complain behind close doors about the little stuff they (up front) offer to give... like bringing leftovers to share after Thanksgiving then are mad because dad ate the last piece of pie.
But now, understandably that he couldn't handle extra stress, he was caught lying and now the guilt trips. I do fear that my brother is selfish enough to take his own life. My parents are not responding and have told me not to respond to his emails either. I don't know what to do. I'm protective of my parents and do not want them to be having any extra stress, but I do not know what to do to help my brother. Or if I should just leave him alone. He's hurt all of us.
I've been getting used to it for a long time but now my parents are in tears and writing him off but he blames me for them crying. I'm at a complete loss and the last thing I would want is for him to hurt himself in turn hurting all of us more.
My brother has Combat PTSD from being in Iraq but he also has an extremely selfish attitude when it comes to perspective and I'm pretty sure his wife is a big help in that.
My parents house burnt down last weekend and my dad who is physically handicap is now having panic attacks in the middle of crowded places. They are trying to keep it all together and (I thought) we were trying to assist them any way that we could.
Well, they live 3 hours from us and had been staying on the hide-a-bed in their neighbors home while they figured out the first few days meeting with the insurance adjuster. Then we invited them to come down here to the town both my brother and his wife and I all live in so we can celebrate Christmas with them here since the plan to 'go home' sort of fell through. It seemed fine but the rental that they found out they could move into just before they left called on Christmas morning and had not been winterized properly and all the pipes were frozen and/or broken. So again, they were technically "homeless".
They've been watching my brother's house and taking care of his and his wife's dogs while they actually left for Christmas to spend the holiday with her family. My folks have two dogs of their own which were originally mine a long time ago but I've been in and out of friends homes and apartments myself since losing my job and getting my life back in order a few years ago. So since I'm still in a tiny apartment and though I offered, they asked if the dogs could stay for a week with my brother at his house with their yard so that they could find themselves a place to rent with the dogs while their house gets rebuilt.
My brother said YES, but then called me telling me I needed to come get them because he couldn't handle it. He was having a PTSD attack. The problem is it was uncovered he was telling them one thing like a good son and ripping me a new one on the other line. He tells me things like he needs to make decisions for HIS family now and can't be helping Mom and Dad. This has been going on for a while but my parents have never seen it.
Now that they have, the dogs are in my apartment, my parents aren't talking to him, he emails all of us a guilt ridden letter about his PTSD and his own life's issues and mentions maybe he should just "check himself into a suicide ward, but he doesn't want to miss work tomorrow"... Stuff that is just absolutely "are you kidding me?!"
We all understand he was in war and has anxiety and bad dreams and have been there offering our support and putting up with his outbursts since before he even knew his wife. My problem is our family till recently has been extremely close. I've listened to him complain about my parents for a long time now. I've heard his wife complain about my parents. But in front of my parents, they have a different face and there isn't anything that my parents have done that should warrant complaints to begin with. It's stupid stuff where my brother and sis-in-law expect so much but complain behind close doors about the little stuff they (up front) offer to give... like bringing leftovers to share after Thanksgiving then are mad because dad ate the last piece of pie.
But now, understandably that he couldn't handle extra stress, he was caught lying and now the guilt trips. I do fear that my brother is selfish enough to take his own life. My parents are not responding and have told me not to respond to his emails either. I don't know what to do. I'm protective of my parents and do not want them to be having any extra stress, but I do not know what to do to help my brother. Or if I should just leave him alone. He's hurt all of us.
I've been getting used to it for a long time but now my parents are in tears and writing him off but he blames me for them crying. I'm at a complete loss and the last thing I would want is for him to hurt himself in turn hurting all of us more.
