I'm Just An Animal...

[Gabriel's hound]

After what happened, I don't feel human. I feel unworthy, broken, and useless. I realized over this summer, for the first time in almost eight years, that I am human, real life flesh and soul, no worse than the people around me. I try to keep that realization at the forefront of my mind, but it gets so hard sometimes that I give in and go back. I'm a dog, just a little puppy dog, one who can't get hurt because I'm just a defenseless animal. I wear a dog collar to classes, a leash to bed, and chew a nylabone just before I fall asleep. I feel safer that way. I have beaten, ripped, stabbed, poisoned, burned, and cut my body in every way I could think of to show how sorry I was for something that was never my fault to begin with. I have never been to war, never been raped, or molested, or abused and I know I should count my blessings for that, but it actually makes me more ashamed. I can't just explain to people what happened. It takes too long and if I can make it all the way through the tale without breaking down, they look at me like, "That's all?" It makes me feel so weak. It's my fault I can't get this out of my head, my fault I can't accomplish all the things everyone else can. But it's alright. I'm just a dog, just a scared little puppy.

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Hi Hound,

Welcome to the forum. You will find much help and guidance here. When you are ready to tell your story, I can assure you, you will only get support from us.

People who haven't experienced the pain we have find it difficult to understand and try to rationalize it in their own way to make themselves more comfortable. What happened to make you feel this way is important. And, what is more important is how what happened made you feel.

I can see you are in a lot of pain and distress. I hope life is brighter for you soon. xxoo

 

[Zipperhead]

Gabby, you are the one saying your trauma is irrelevant and not note worthy. Are you sure you haven't been listening to the mean people belittling you too long? Obviously you hurt, and that means it was a big deal to you. So suck back and reload. Your worth it. You are not a dog, and people should treat you with respect. When your ready, share with the people on here. No one is going to say "is that all?" We all know what hurt is here.

 

[BigBear]

Hi,

When Angel started, she thought so little had happened to her. Every day something new comes back. Her mind couldn't deal with it so it got squashed down out of sight. In the condition that you are in, you can't possibly know your whole story. You've been telling your self belittling things so long that you've come to believe them.

Well, they aren't true and there's a lot more to you than even you know.

It's time to build back up! Please let us help. Every one here will want to help.

and YES, you're worth it!

Bear