I'm New Here Too

[orphaned child]

I'm so frozen. I'm unable to jump start my functionality. I quit a job with toxic people. I was an executive , but was in a no win situation. It was so bad for my self-esteem. I felt like a clown. Iwas over qualified and only took it because my brother had just died and I was shut down. I made alot of money and had really good benifits. But I could not take it anymore. I feel bad for my family because now we have less money. I made some money in the stock market this year[of all places] so I feel its ok to get myself together for a little while. I was there for three years and just could not make it work for me. Right now I'm supposed to contact the chamber of commerce and all this new stuff for a new business . But I'm just frozen. I want to be let alone. I feel bad for my husband because this dumped a lot of responsibillity on him. Life is to short to waste time doing stuff you hate

 

[blueangel371115]

I agree. I was there once. Welcome to the forum.

 

[booboomatrix]

I totally relate to the frozen thing. I even looked up avoidance today to see if there was something that could give me insight into that "coping" mechanism that I so clearly use. When you describe your job it reminds me of overload. I think that you're saturated, and your body is doing passive resistance, it's a sit down strike. BOY do I related to this. I also worry about dumping responsibility on others. I don't know if you're looking for advice, but I would definitely tell your husband that you are fully aware that you have shifted things to him and ask him how he feels about it. You might want to talk about how this is temporary, and openly discuss the status quo as an experiment that's temporary to see if it helps you at all, and let him know you want to keep the lines of communication open and listen to him if he gets overwhelmed, or thinks you're inconsiderate of his new position/imposition.

I stress that just because a good support system is worth more than gold, we might want to treat any person like that in our lives like we're paying them 100 dollars an hour or more for therapy help, and value them, because they really are key.

Sounds like you're dissociating and shutting down for a bit. Me too and I ventured over here as a new person to see if it would help, or to see what might happen. Even though I'm new, I'll say thanks for contributing and welcome.

 

[orphaned child]

I did tell my husband what you said and he was gratful. My business partner just left a voice mail. I'm to frozen to answer. friends want to have me over for dinner and I sent an email that Ive been sick this week. I hope they don't think I'm snubbing them. I was able to do some work on an ebook. I took an ativan but it's not really helping.

 

[anthony]

Welcome Orphaned Child,

Right now I'm supposed to contact the chamber of commerce and all this new stuff for a new business . But I'm just frozen.

I think the best thing you can do, is to just slow down, take some time, but also to achieve some tasks. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by a huge list, why not pick one thing, just one, put it on a piece of paper by itself, then try and accomplish that task on the day you choose. That's it... one goal for the day.

If you achieve it, and you feel better about yourself for achieving it, which you should rightfully so... then take one more task, and repeat the process.

If you achieve nothing or you achieve something, either way is irrelevant. Don't build a negative pattern and cycle, ie. feel guilty for letting husband down, letting yourself down > become depressed > achieve less > repeat cycle. Its called a cycle of abuse, and it applies easily to oneself via self application. It is how depression primarily works... get depressed, eat, feel more depressed from becoming over-weight, eat more, repeat cycle.

Breaking any negative cycle is about making a dent within the cycle. You don't necessarily have to stop it completely, but start somewhere with a goal to reduce its impact... which then promotes self goodness, which promotes self esteem, which promotes further self growth.

 

[orphaned child]

Thank you Anthony