I actually found and signed up for the forum because I have just woken up at 3 AM and found myself bawling over past events, and I'm not one to cry over much, and not often.
I'm a 24 year old male who was beat half to death by three people almost 5 years ago. I've never been to see a psychologist, and I have been on and off of anti-depressants throughout the years, prescribed simply by doctors.
I finally began to be able to cope without the anti-depressants. They never really seemed to do anything to help me, more like making me feel like an empty shell, and I progress throughout the day without much feeling for anything.
Although it does seem now-a-days that my movements are robotic. I get up, go to work, eat, sleep. Once an aspiring director/actor and a pretty decent writer, I've since lost all motivation to progress. In only 4 months I've went from 140lbs, and fairly healthy, to 170lbs, and getting to the point of overweight.
I've been through many traumatic experiences. I was jumped like I stated above, and I also made the stupid, stupid decision (twice) to drive while intoxicated, which led to two different arrests.
Of course, I have since learned my lesson in that area, but I never really moved past any of this trauma, mentally.
I feel dead inside. I go through the motions daily. I'm scared to hang out with friends, even close friends, unless I'm somewhere that I feel safe (like at home). I got my license back, but I'm scared to drive anywhere. I'm afraid to meet new people... And most importantly (to me) I'm very, very afraid to get into any kind of relationship with any girl.
I find myself without anything to converse about, with anybody. Friends, girls, even my parents. I have nothing to talk to anyone about.
I find myself with a loss of motivation for any hobbies that I used to enjoy. Writing, wiring speakers up around the house, working on computers, working out, playing basketball, heck, even playing video games.
I don't have any kind of health care, and it's too expense for me to get, so I've always found it very tough to even search for a decently priced psychiatrist. And without transportation, it makes it very difficult for me to make it to one.
This place kind of looked like a haven to me. A place where I could at least outlet myself a bit, and connect with people that, quite possibly, are going through similar problems. Maybe I could feel better about myself, and maybe I could help someone else feel better about their lives.
I'm not really sure what I am looking for here, but it is nice to at least be able to blurt it out without the harsh judgments that friends and family tend to compare it to.
As the years have progressed, and my groups of friends have gotten smaller, I've moved further away from my family, and I've been too afraid to meet any new people, I've found myself becoming more hermit-esque. More apathetic about the world around me, and honestly finding my bed to be the most comfortable spot to be.
I'm just looking for something, anything. Just a way to feel... Human again.
Thank you for listening,
-Bobby
I'm a 24 year old male who was beat half to death by three people almost 5 years ago. I've never been to see a psychologist, and I have been on and off of anti-depressants throughout the years, prescribed simply by doctors.
I finally began to be able to cope without the anti-depressants. They never really seemed to do anything to help me, more like making me feel like an empty shell, and I progress throughout the day without much feeling for anything.
Although it does seem now-a-days that my movements are robotic. I get up, go to work, eat, sleep. Once an aspiring director/actor and a pretty decent writer, I've since lost all motivation to progress. In only 4 months I've went from 140lbs, and fairly healthy, to 170lbs, and getting to the point of overweight.
I've been through many traumatic experiences. I was jumped like I stated above, and I also made the stupid, stupid decision (twice) to drive while intoxicated, which led to two different arrests.
Of course, I have since learned my lesson in that area, but I never really moved past any of this trauma, mentally.
I feel dead inside. I go through the motions daily. I'm scared to hang out with friends, even close friends, unless I'm somewhere that I feel safe (like at home). I got my license back, but I'm scared to drive anywhere. I'm afraid to meet new people... And most importantly (to me) I'm very, very afraid to get into any kind of relationship with any girl.
I find myself without anything to converse about, with anybody. Friends, girls, even my parents. I have nothing to talk to anyone about.
I find myself with a loss of motivation for any hobbies that I used to enjoy. Writing, wiring speakers up around the house, working on computers, working out, playing basketball, heck, even playing video games.
I don't have any kind of health care, and it's too expense for me to get, so I've always found it very tough to even search for a decently priced psychiatrist. And without transportation, it makes it very difficult for me to make it to one.
This place kind of looked like a haven to me. A place where I could at least outlet myself a bit, and connect with people that, quite possibly, are going through similar problems. Maybe I could feel better about myself, and maybe I could help someone else feel better about their lives.
I'm not really sure what I am looking for here, but it is nice to at least be able to blurt it out without the harsh judgments that friends and family tend to compare it to.
As the years have progressed, and my groups of friends have gotten smaller, I've moved further away from my family, and I've been too afraid to meet any new people, I've found myself becoming more hermit-esque. More apathetic about the world around me, and honestly finding my bed to be the most comfortable spot to be.
I'm just looking for something, anything. Just a way to feel... Human again.
Thank you for listening,
-Bobby
