I'm Out

[Cheshire]

Drama, drama... I thought we were all here to help each other, not argue like children and call each other names. Must we drag this out more than it already has been?

I'll miss Adrienne.. I hope she finds some peace in her life soon. I hope the same for all of you, too. This kind of bitching and snarking at each other doesn't help anyone do what they're here to do, which is HEAL.

 

[Heather]

I agree with both of you Anthony and J.A.D. She was looking for a fight and her intent was to be mean and nasty with the result.....Being banned. She sent me a p.m. pretty much saying that.

My only point is that's not the Adrienne I know. I don't know what stick got shoved up her butt (crude I know) to make her act that way. Completely inappropriate I agree with you.... to attack people on here for no good reason...it's like she had verbal diarreha all over the page. I honestly don't know what her problem was. Last time I talked to her she was fine.

I don't condone her actions in the least.

 

[sea]

Adrienne has always been very nice to me here. I appreciate all the comments that she has left on my log. She is a very, very strong person. I think that she will heal, and that she will find peace.

 

[anthony]

I get absolutely fed up with people excusing their bad manners by " It's just an opinion " and it's not just Adrienne12.

Yes and No....

I think the biggest thing people forget about opinions, is that the moment you try and defend it, is the same moment you remove "opinion" from the equation, and instead are trying to force others to accept your beliefs. There are facts and beliefs and opinions... along with other bits and pieces. An opinion should be posted, then left alone... not defended. If people react or respond, then it is a choice to defend, acknowledge their opinion, or leave alone, which is an opinion. That very moment any one of us defends ourselves, which is natural when feeling attacked (I still get sucked into it myself at times depending on mood) is the same moment we cease our opinion and begin our defending our personal belief structure.

I agree... opinions you try and defend, they are a passive aggressive behaviour in which you knowingly insult people without taking responsibility for what you say.

Every person uses all behavioural types daily, constantly... its just we fall into one more than the rest.

I think maybe we need more political / religious discussions in order to help people change their behaviours... that is why I encourage them in the first place, because they're a valuable learning tool for PTSD.

 

[Sqweak]

Adrienne12,

I'm so sorry you're leaving so angry, hopefully you'll find a place where you can reach out to people without feeling like they are after you. Maybe this sounds funny coming from me, sense I hashed on your post in the Bin Laden thread. Though I felt your post were a little out there at the time, I have nothing but respect for those who speak their minds so fervently. I wouldn't let the actions of some make you distance to the people who care a great deal for you here.

Take of yourself.

 

[mysihba]

thank you, Anthony

 

[Srain]

My hope is that Adrienne realizes in the end she needn't have gotten banned to leave, that maybe other things were pressuring her inside but this was possibly the safest outlet she had to blow off but it was the most hurtful to herself in the short run.

I wouldn't take what she said personal. I'm not. I am glad see she has good solid friends here. I always appreciated her comments very much and her point of view.

Rain

 

[Nicolette]

The reality is in life there are ways in which we must conduct ourselves when interacting with others be it work, a social gathering, a forum, in a relationship etc. While we all have "bad" days, which may alter our moods, we still have to interact in a socially acceptable way.

PTSD is an illness and is delibiliating with some unfavourable characteristics. That being said we are all adults here, all responsible of our own actions and accountable for such by agreeing to the terms when joining. The choice is in what we do or do not say here, when we do post or when we walk away knowing that our mindset is not the best to be communicating with others publicly.

Undoubtedly Adrienne is a lovely person and may have had something set her off - she then chose to come here rather than keep it private or vent her frustrations in a manner which would have been more appropriate than attacking others.

If Adrienne had a problem with other members with reference to the "Match.com" comment and had contacted me I would have happily looked into it for her.

Life is not easy, nor is it fair but the forum must serve the overall community so that sometimes means someone misses out due to their bad behavior to maintain the standard set for members as a general rule.

I hope Adrienne finds her way out of what has obviously upset her.

 

[anthony]

Everything here has a report function, posts, profile, PC's... user responsibility to use it if they have issues with another member. Staff may not do anything about it at that time, but if we're not collectively aware of it, then we can't take action if it happens again, or others are all reporting similar issues with a user.

Added: This is why we have forum procedures, so members don't go running off to one staff member privately, which means only one person knows about something... so if one member sends a PC to Catjudo about x, then another sends one to me about x, we may not know one member is doing something bad to several members, others who are just ignoring and not reporting at all.

Use the report link on content to notify staff of any issues.

 

[AngelaMarie]

I feel that I am responsible in the end for who I speak with and how I interact on the forum. If I have difficulty I just make the decision to not talk to that individual anymore. I also realize that sometimes it's just my reaction to the situation. Maybe they didn't even mean to say or do anything wrong. Does that make sense? One of the reasons I am here is to learn to interact and to also become stronger when dealing with others.

I am sorry Adrienne12 is gone. I am sorry she made that choice. I wish her the best. Just as I do the others on the forum or the ones that chose to leave.

 

[anni]

You just can't control others actions or words and set yourself up for immense frustration, anxiety, reactivity and stress if the you get it into your head that somehow this is the case. My head will start to go there too, but you simply have to get the heck out of whatever thread is setting you off if it's not possible to respond without going poof. I suppose everyone is different as to what they feel is due to the community they belong to but civility would have to be key in order to maintain a flow of communication amongst so many varied human beings attempting to build a cohesive unit towards their common 'cause'. The cause would be why we're all here in the first place, our PTSD diagnosis, or for the carers here, their sufferers.

I'm a little off today because of mine and do not mean to come across as self absorbed. I'm genuinely not, just concerned for the peace and flow of the forum which is so valuable to so many with this stupid, awful, intrusive and maddening thing. It's just not that tough to block out, ignore, or not engage people or threads one finds grating or annoying or upsetting. I don't see what the big deal is, and have to say the single time I was ever involved in a situation where I blundered into a conflict with another member like an idiot ( me, not the other member ) was treated with tolerance and restraint.

I do wish anyone peace who does not have it, but gosh, drama makes me tired.

 

[njray]

I only know of her by some of her posts and the last rant. As one that is here but just months and one that suffers not only from PTSD but also ADHD that has made many mistakes based on impulsiveness under stress I have a feeling there may be more going on than meets the eye. I do wish the best for her and hope she is able to seek proper treatment as to help her manage any and all issues that she may be suffering from.....