General I'm So Confused, Concerned, Lost...and Feel Guilty...

[Nonie]

Umus- Thank you for posting. Sorry it took me a while to get back to you. If you read the post i wrote to Kathy above this one, that is where we currently stand, and i feel less tension now, and i'm relaxed about everything.

Sorry to hear about your situation, but you're being very strong, and that's great! I'm taking things one day at a time with him, and giving him the space that he needs. I don't press him for anything, and if i ask him something and he doens't want to talk about it, i change the topic immediately.

I'm happy with the way things stand right now, and i'm not living on hope that we might get back together again. I just want our friendship to be good, and him to know what i'm here for him whenever he needs me. We both understand that we miss each other greatly, and think about one another on a constant basis. He did tell me he just needs time and space, and i'm giving it to him whenever he needs it.

Hope things are going well for you!

 

[Kathy]

Thank you for the update Nonie, I am delighted to hear things are improving for you. I am most appreciative you are not offended by what I wrote; I was a bit concerned. I can be rather blunt at times, especially when under stress at home.

Support from other veterans or those currently serving would be very beneficial for your boyfriend, well done for recommending that to him. Unfortunately, in spite of efforts to improve, the attitude that PTSD is a weakness is still very pervasive in military culture. Once he returns from operations and depending on where he lives, many bases have PTSD support groups. He may wish to look into that as well. He is most definitely not alone.

Take good care Nonie, and keep us updated please.

 

[Umus]

Hi Nonie, I am very happy to hear that things are going well for you at the moment. It is great that you are taking one day at a time and I find it very comforting that he is responding to your support. In my situation this happens also, but there are also times when he shuts me out completely, one day he opens up, the next he is back to needing more space. I have learned that this is one of the terrible things about this disease and that we have to learn to cope with it. I am also taking one day at a time at the moment and this is the only way to deal with it. I wish you a lot of strength and positive thoughts! Take care...

 

[nyc]

Yeah. I've been getting that. Every week it's different. Just when I think it's totally over and he has shut down on me, and I want to give up- there is a new little ray of hope.

But, at least I know now that when he does shut down- he does come back when he's ready.

For the first time since he started the therapy he has said that he felt hope. He said he hadn't felt that for what seems a life time.He just started kineasology (can't spell) in addition to his therapy.It seems to work for him.

One day at a time sounds like what we have to do. Good luck to you all! Try not to give up.I am trying.Keep posting- cause it keeps me hopeful too.