General Impact Of Major Move On Ptsd Sufferer

[PTSDMama]

Got some more encouragement last night that this will be so good for our family. My two go-to girlfriends and I met up just to catch up, etc. and I told them about the impending move. They actually teared up because they were so happy for us. One of them said she had talked to her husband months ago and they both thought we should move away - there are some deep issues with my extended family, even though they are mostly supportive now. So my friends are so excited with me. The one actually said she hadn't seen hope in my face for a long while and it's so good to see.

And, C asked J if we can move somewhere close to his brother and sister - they're his cousins, but he was referring to the two kiddos where we're moving. I'm at the point now where I just want to pack stuff and go. Obviously, that wouldn't be prudent - there's lots of other stuff to get done.

Oh, and J talked to the financial aid dept yesterday. It seems that we will have enough money left over (if J can find a job) to pay our mortgage here where we are so that we can take our time finding a renter. We've always wanted to find a renter who really needs a place to stay to help them out. Maybe let them stay for less rent, allow them to make repairs on the home to discount their rent, etc. But we never thought we'd be in the position to do so.

So excited!

 

[Eleanor]

PTSDmama , good news! I am glad you are feeling excited and positive about the move.

About renters: we have made this our business, and so I have had to learn a lot... and what you said sound Just Like Me about four years ago. Here is what I learned:

1) Renting out your house is not a ministry. It is a business, and you must be tough but fair. A house is a hugely valuable asset. Would you let a sketchy character wear a diamond bracelet of yours to go out clubbing? Even if they had a good reason? Of course not. Treat the house as your most valuable asset - which it probably is.

2) It is good to help people who are in distress, and there are a lot more people in distress who got themselves into that distress than there are ones who have really had a bout of super bad luck. And there are varieties of people who get themselves into distress, who are none the less great renters. The trick is to sort these people into the right categories - assuming, of course that you can stand NOT to sign up the first person who really wants to rent your house and has money to put down.

3) About the repairs - do you have someone local to be the "on call" person? Or are you going to let the renters act as their own property managers? This requires some thought, and will make a big difference about the kind of person you want to rent to.

4) Make the house as nice and "finished" as possible before you rent it. Document the condition with photos and do a checklist walk through with the tenants before they move in. If there are things that need special care (we have a tub that you have to use "soft scrub" on or it messes up the finish) write an addendum to the lease on how you want things cared for.

5) We go for the "best" tenants we can get. Preferably people who have mostly lived in houses they or their families owned. The attitude is just different. People are in the habit of caring more for their own stuff.

More, but I have to go...

 

[PTSDMama]

Yes, definitely concerns there! Thank you for the wisdom...it's good advice that we will definitely use. We would definitely screen them and have a formal lease agreement, etc. (I'm using definitely way too much here! :)) My current job will allow me to have a lawyer draw up those documents for free, so I hope to have those done before I leave the job.

We have 1 friend who may be interested and has a current immaculate rental. She has taken care of our home in the past for vacations, etc. so I think it would be a perfect fit for multiple reasons. And she's at the point where she may want more home than she's had in the past. Soooo, we'll be talking with her in the near future.

 

[Pale Warrior]

Great news, my fingers are well and truly crossed for you.

 

[Rob1]

I burst into uncontrollable tears - partly because of the stress of the week, but also because I don't want him to give up his dream. I don't want him to be discontent, sad, angry, etc., even though he says he won't be.

I think this is so beautiful. You burst into uncontrolable tears thinking about your husband's dreams and happiness being taken from him. That is truly a loving heart full of empathy and generosity. I sometimes struggle with empathy so reading something like this is very moving.

Best of luck to you both.

 

[PTSDMama]

How encouraging, Rob! We are super excited to be moving here shortly, as soon as we can find him a job. Thank you for the kind words.