Impulsiveness In Ptsd

[emmacub]

I just wanted to ask if anybody else has a bizarre impulsive streak that can come up either through stress or disassociation?

I have always had moments of impulsiveness where I act out of character & even put relationships at risk. It's happened in the relationship I'm in, one I wouldn't want to risk & I want to get to the root of how to deal & recognise these moments before I act stupidly.

I know that it's a sign of lack of emotional maturity & that makes sense considering that I've had PTSD since the age of 3 or 4...I know that I've not had the chance to progress naturally through the normal developmental stages & it's something I've been doing now (at 34!).

Any advice, info or even your sides on this would really help me. I feel like I'm the only one with this streak...

 

[Chincho]

I have those moments too. My impulsiveness has cost me a couple of friendships. I even began withdrawing from all social contact because of it. I felt like Mr Jeckyl and Dr Hyde, and still do.

SSRIs seemed to make my impulsiveness worse, among other side effects, so I had to stop taking them.

I'm slowly learning to control it. It's not easy, but I'm really trying.

 

[piratelady]

I have gone through periods where I was very impulsive. For me, it seems to rear its ugly head when I get depressed. Several years ago I got VERY impulsive and did some stupid things that lead to a traumatic event. Then last year I became very impulsive again. Luckily, this time I was in therapy, so we addressed it before I did anything I really regretted.

 

[Red Feather]

Yes impulsiveness was a real a big problem for me. I would like to think I am better but it can still happen again, if I get very emotional or feel powerless. I think that because my ex was also really impulsive the fights we had, were much more worse. And we / he often made decisions that were based on impulses which were rather inhuman and dangerous. So it got rather triggering.

In my case the relation between dissociation and impulses, is in the way dissociation and depression often feed off each other into a sort of frightening passivity. And then forced out of the fear with impulsive behaviour.

 

[TeddySue]

I liken this to OCD which I have and am well aware of; which does help, just to know. I delve into obsessions with only a small impulse purchase, and before I know it I've bought the WHOLE set or whatever it is that goes with the first purchase. For me, it's a sudden burst of POWER that sparks the impulse and when I've purchased it all, I sit back and become overwhelmed with what I've done. eBay is a huge trigger, pushing me back in time when my so-called husband was here and we had money to spare.

 

[Tinyflame]

I mostly find the issue of impulsiveness only problematic as it relates to self-destructive behaviours, (ultimately) self-harming behaviours, recklessness (in the same category) and SI.
Now I don't believe they are impulses at all but reacting to EFB's. Which is a relief to know there is an explanation of their genesis.

I agree with Nadia that, for myself I think that (some degree of) dissociation either follows or compunds the worst instances (SI), or severe depression more accurately somewhere near despair or self-rejection.

Sometimes also, I just am 'not aware' what danger I put myself in, when I feel like that.

 

[emmacub]

Thank you.
You've all let me know that I'm not alone, I can relate to the disassociation, through CAT therapy I discovered that I had six different dissociative states. I have managed to find the triggers but that doesn't stop all of them.

I'm going to my last therapy session tomorrow, something I've been dreading for a couple of months. This has been the only treatment that has ever helped me & I'll feel a little more alone after it's over.

The impulsiveness has always been there, & it's also led to self-harm & suicide attempts in the past. Not to the same extent anymore, but I have to be mindful of this. I need to find a technique to help keep me level.

 

[Anna]

Yes. I used to be really impulsive. I now control it very well.

I used to binge drink and engage in promiscuous behaviour.

I have a problem with attachment, so even when I am with a partner I want to sleep with other people as well. Not just one, but many, especially when my sex drive is rearing it's ugly head.
I manage to control myself very well. It is not very nice though. I guess it is self destructive as well in a way.