Majidah, as someone who genuinely believed I could and would never trust another human being in my life, I can thoroughly relate to your feelings and to your pervasive sense that betrayal in a relationship is inevitable.
I think the important thing to remember is that everyone will, at some time, likely disappoint you, or let you down,or behave in a way which displeases or upsets you. That's a given. But there's a difference between that and betrayal, and that's where we have to consciously remind ourselves not to categorise every issue or disconnect as betrayal.
Betrayal runs deeper - betrayal is about damaging the trust and respect that are forged in human relationships, and just because someone does something to upset or disappoint you, it doesn't mean that that bond is broken.
I know it seems like an academic distinction, but truly it isn't, and the more we can work to keep that in mind, the easier it may be to entertain the possibility that some day we may trust someone. And believing it is possible is the first step.
I truly do understand where you're at with this. It still shocks and frightens me to realise that I do believe I trust someone, to the extent that I'm capable of it, but as scary as it is, and as much of a risk as it entails, trust is a good thing, a healthy and safe and life-giving thing. I truly hope you can find it.
Maddog
