In Denial For About 5 Years

[Join]

Hi, I'm new here, as of today. Folks call me "Join" which is not nearly the strangest thing about me.

I was diagnosed with PTSD about 5 years ago, but I was in denial about it a long time, in part because the notion of having (another) chronic condition for the rest of my life seemed too daunting. After talking to two therapists about the extent of physical, emotional, verbal and quasi-spiritual abuse I endured day after day growing up and also about the sudden suicide of a former boyfriend, I feel that while my condition was not inevitable, it's kind of understandable. In a way, it's kind of impressive how far I got considering everything.

I just wanted to say "hello" and share a bit about myself. I live and work in the DC metropolitan area. I'm in my thirties. I'm a person with PTSD, but also much, much more. Looking forward to communicating with folks.

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Hi Join -

Welcome to the forum!! I think alot of us are initially in denial - the important thing is that you have come out of it now.

Look around the information sections - you'll find alot of good information there that I'm sure you will relate to and hopefully learn from.

I look forward to seeing you around.

 

[shiraz]

Hi Join,

Glad to have you on the forum (well, not really - sorry about the PTSD) ... but you are welcome. It took me time to come to terms with it too. It was a real shocker!

Look forward to seeing you around.

Shiraz

 

[tryintobreathe]

Join,

Welcome to the forum. I was in denial at first myself, but now it's a relief and I don't feel so crazy. I think most of us are very resourceful and are strong survivors. There's lots of great information here and lots of great people!

Jen

 

[Join]

Thanks, SBF, TTB and shiraz for the welcomes.

About denial - on the one hand, looking back on my initial feelings of denial, I think that there was something natural for me being skeptical and resistant to the diagnosis and the chronic condition...especially since I knew relatives and friends were skeptical/in denial of the diagnosis, as well.

On the other hand, there is something freeing about having a name for what happens inside of me. It means that other people might experience similar things and that I'm not completely alone, even though for the most part, it has seemed like few people could understand. Maybe the strategies other people use to manage symptoms and to reframe their own life stories could work for me, too. That's my hope at least.

Anyway, thanks again, for the warm welcome.

 

[pocketdoll]

I felt the same way, Join. I went in asking about how to fix depression, anxiety, sleep problems, hyper vigilance, self-consciousness, and just all round feeling crappy, and came out with four letters that would link me to other people just like me. Before I came to this forum, I really felt like something was seriously wrong with me now that I have a named condition, but is reassuring to not be alone in it. I hope that's what you find here as well.

 

[amethist]

Hi Join

Welcome to the forum.

You are not alone with the denial part, I think a lot of members can relate to this.

It is not something people who have no connection with ptsd can easily understand, but now your are among so many who " get it " as the saying seems to be just now.

So have a look round, read and ask questions. We are all here to help one another through this.

Take care and good luck.

Amethist

 

[pebbels]

Hello Join:hello:
Welcome, it's great that you have a positive attitude :thumbs-up

All the best:Hug_emoticon:

Pebs

 

[Join]

Thanks all :)

 

[ISupportHer]

I will add my welcome too.

I do not know you and maybe have no right to chime in but, although denial usually has a negative meaning, maybe it is what you needed. I mean things like denial or dissociation etc. can be ways you protect yourself. You know, just to survive or get by. In my mind, the important that you are here now. That you are, I hope, facing your PTSD and starting a journey and healing.

Again, welcome!

 

[Clydiechick]

Ah denial! I think it comes from not understanding what is happening to you. And not believing it could EVER happen to you. That's how I felt anyway, I was soooo in control before all this, and now, no control at all. The worst thing is you feel so alone because nobody really understands what you are going through unless they have been there themselves.

Hope this forum can help us both.