In The Wake Of An Episode

[skeenr]

An argument triggered me earlier. Though we ended up with a good note I still cannot calm down. My energy levels are crashing and yet my mind is racing. I can't stop thinking about the argument and things I want to say to make it better but I can't. I keep worrying about whether or not my relationship can last through these fights. But unfortunately other than her and my hit and miss counselor I can't control my emotions. It's debilitating really, I am afraid angry and tired all at once. I am worried about whether or not I will ever function like a normal person. No matter what I do when I have been triggered I react instead of thinking through my problems. I need help. I am feeling so alone right now.

 

[TLight]

All I can say is I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Arguments always trigger me and I'm just astounded that people can start an argument with me over something so trivial as housework or something. Then I'm eventually in a flashback and a week of SI thoughts, exhaustion, and over the top depression. I'm astounded that someone can see this over and over and then still argue over such stupid things.
In my case I was brutalized for housework. I would talk to my husband and beg him to please take part in it to help the triggering. He'd immediately get defensive and start an argument........with the same result every time.

I finally had to leave. Leave who I thought was the love of my life over dishes...........so sad. To this day he just says, 'well, I'm just not good at it and I'm just gonna hurt you again.' Talk about affecting my self esteem. Couldn't even make the effort, I wasn't worth it to him for him to stand next time to me and dry a few dishes with me sometimes.

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack. But I've learned that when people get so defensive and start an argument, they are defending their poor behavior cause they know its bad behavior. At least in my situation.

It'll day a few days to recover, then try to communicate what was triggering for you, the argument itself, or are some of your needs not getting met? Try to unbundle it and see what the trigger really was and then attempt communicating.

 

[skeenr]

You see though I have an anxiety disorder on top of the ptsd and that makes me more paranoid. Making me think when an argument is happening that I am cornered and that I have to lash out. So most of the arguments are less about the I there person and more about how I react to them.