Incapable Of Reaching Orgasm From Sex

[Deleted member 28403]

Hmm, but how do I do the overall psychological progress thingy? Even my psychiatrist says I will never be a functional person.

Are there no simple solutions in this world? :hug:

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Interestingly, stuff related to my abuse for some reason seems to give me more pleasure :( And somehow, though I don't remember a lot of the abuse, I do distinctly remember pleasure from it

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

The way I view sex and the people I date are very very different then the people I did stuff with when I was much younger. When I was a teenager, I would basically reach out to anybody who wanted to reach out back to me and things like "Do we actually have anything in common?" or "Do they value me as a human being?" didn't really matter. And those things matter in sex, trust and growth.

Now I know myself, my values and my sexuality a lot better and I end up with people who I am comfortable with so, in turn, the sex is more comfortable, more enjoyable and of course orgasms happen normally.

What helped me so much with my own sexual healing is exploring my sexuality. Normally that meant masturbating and finding what I enjoyed and didn't enjoy and that helped develop my sexuality. It wasn't always easy, for years I would have horrible reactions with my orgasms; shame, guilt and disgust. Then I realized I was human and an adult and a sexual human being. This all took time and finding the right people.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Ayesha
The thing though is that I generally go for people I do have a lot in common with and the relationships are much more centered around all the emotional stuff, rather than sex, so sex is hardly the main thing in the relationship, I find support and emotional connection much more important...

I think much more of a problem might be that I have problems with giving myself value as a human being

 

[EveHarrington]

All of this sounds so familiar.

It's kind of eerie to hear it said by a guy!

Take no offense. I mean I have my views/beliefs and unfortunately they can be a bit harsh as I tend to spin off into "guys suck because they only want sex and only want what they want and I have no (sexual) voice." Like I said----take no offense. I know it's not right thought and I know (I think) that it's a major defense mechanism.

I can't ask for anything. I must be there only to please them. I am only good for that, only good to be used for that. I have no voice! How dare I ask when I can't handle the certain denial (rejection). I am disgusting, my body is disgusting. Of course I'm just used for sex because nobody would want to be with me for me.

<gotta run>

 

[Deleted member 28403]

:hug: @EveHarrington

Yep, because it's generally not a male or female trait, it's more of a thing that has to do with how shallow a person is and how much bad stuff a person had in their life

 

[void]

@Saelben

Yes, sadly there are no simple solutions.:(
I wish there was.:(

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Well f*ck :(

 

[EveHarrington]

Uh oh. :(

 

[EveHarrington]

One help.

(In my case.)

Run from sexually selfish people!!

As an aside, I'm super annoyed that my iPhone won't accept certain autocorrect words (that I can add myself) like f*ck, abuse (!!!) or even selfish. But ohhhh no, it has 45 versions of "selfie" in it! We are a "selfie" society that says "selfish" is a bad word. <bangs head on wall>

I apologize for going off topic and return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

But yes, I have poor skills for picking partners and end up with ones who are only in it for themselves. I like to give but can't find anyone who likes to give too. :(

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Hmm, well, how do you go about choosing partners?

 

[EveHarrington]

Sorry, misnomer. I don't. I take whatever comes my way. I don't think I've ever "chosen" anyone to be honest.

Beggars can't be choosers, right?