Sufferer Incest Survivor, And More

[BethanyG1022]

Hello. I am a survivor of incest. My homosexual father raped me when I was a child before killing himself, and I repressed a lot of it. Memories started coming back when I reached my teenage years. Eight years later, I'm still processing. I've been diagnosed with PTSD and suffer from panic attacks, and most recently, flashbacks and dissociation. I try to deny what I experience by telling myself that I'm faking it. But it's very real and the PTSD is more prominent now. Having trouble sleeping and waking up on time, no appetite, lots of anxiety.

 

[Flyaway]

Hi Bethany, well done for sharing, and welcome! I'm in a similar boat... Hope you can get the help you need!

 

[Leah123]

Welcome to the forum, Bethany. I've gotten lots of support here and learned a few things too! I hope the same for you. I can relate, unfortunately, started remembering things as a teenager also. Very hard, and the PTSD sucks. I know what you mean about wanting to deny it, I do believe PTSD folks are really good at denying/avoiding, lol, in my experience. Still, when I look at the symptom list, and see the way it all adds up to a veritable biography of my life, it gets pretty hard to deny. I hope you'll check out the Self-Help forum, there are a lot of posts there about getting grounded, and I know many folks on the forum deal with sleeping issues, anxiety, etc.

I've been using soothing music or stories to help me sleep, along with herbal "sleepy-time" type tea and giving myself permission to take naps in my office during the day where I feel safer. I tell my nightmares to my therapist, which helps a lot.

I'm sure others will have some more ideas for you and I hope you're seeing a therapist, or shave someone or a support system you can trust to work through everything with you. It does get better!!!

 

[WillyKat]

I completely repressed the memory until age 21. I'm in my 50s now and still don't remember all of it. You've made a huge step by coming here and won't regret it.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[intothelight]

Hi Bethany,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum! :)

I try to deny what I experience by telling myself that I'm faking it.

A PTSD diagnosis can be very unsettling, but denying the symptoms doesn't really help a person learn to manage and overcome them. Its difficult to accept that something is wrong, but it is good to remember that it doesn't define who you are and that symptoms can be eliminated or become less in frequency and severity with the proper treatment.

I hope that you find the information and support on this forum beneficial to your healing. This is a safe place to just be you.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[Murakami]

I was very moved by your post. It was very easy both to see you tossing around sleepless in bed, at the same time I recognised my own pains in your words. ty for sharing:-)