Indecision - Does It Cause You Anxiety?

[sidekick]

I will have an anxiety attack in the store trying to decide between two items to buy. It's horrible. Sometimes I just feel like bursting into tears. I had to go through this the other day when buying socks for my daughter. I couldn't decide between two packages of princess socks. I stood there for at least 15 minutes. My husband finally said, just get both packages. That helped the anxiety a little but not really because the decision was taken away from me and I felt helpless?

Then that same trip it took me a good 10 or more minutes to decide what purse I wanted after I narrowed it down to three. IT was horrible and I felt like I was going to pass out.

I don't understand it.. I absolutely hate making decisions but I have to be in control which is sorta making decisions?

 

[Tiger Kitten]

I have a horrible time with indecision as well. I obsess and think about making a decision for weeks/months/years until I finally decide what to do. When I finally do decide what to do I second guess myself and start the cycle over. Sometimes I eventually finalize a decision, but by then it usually is too late to really matter anyway. After years and years and years of getting nothing done in a timely fashion I now have a system in place where I write down the pro's and con's of each choice and ask people who seem smart what they would do. I ask several different people (always an odd number and the number of people varies on how big of a decision it is), and then whichever decision gets the most votes wins. Kind of cheating the decision making process but for me it is better than getting nothing at all done.

 

[sidekick]

I never associated this with PTSD. Wow, all my life I just thought I was "slow", "crazy", and a zillion other things people told me because I could never decide make a simple decision. I still struggle with this and dislike being asked my opinion on anything and especially to be the one to make a decision. I know when I go shopping for anything, I can stand there for upwards to a half hour holding two items in my hand trying to decide which one......It is absolutely silly. I remember a therapist asking me one time what would happen if I chose one over the other one. I had no answer. I just got stressed out and started having a panic attack.

It has gotton a little easier on some days, but not always. I always feel so foolish, especially when there are people around me. :crazy:

 

[anni]

You are all way ahead of me in at least verbalizing a possible trust motive in decision making! I just know that any decision at all drives me up the dam wall. If there are too many decisons in a day I end up not making any at all, and frequenlty am so frustrated I just end up in tears. My bed is covered with clothes in the morning because I can't decide what to wear, then it's too overwhelming to hang them all up again. That always means the day is going to go to hell in a big hurry.

I never thought about the whole concept of deicsions being a trust issue and find it very interesting. I just thought I was reallyyyyy easily confused and it's one more PTSD 'thing' to bully myself through everyday. I'm ALWAYS interested in new ways to tackle this dreck, and sometimes even thinking about something differently helps to conquer it somewhat. I hate like heck to sound like Pollyanna but if I can't tweak some of this stuff into some kind of positive light I'll just end up in bed, in tears for the day.

I really appreciate the insight from everyone. I'll be processing that for awhile! Thanks much!

Take care,

Anni

 

[Grama-Herc]

Well, apparently I am not alone in what I have always thought was a character flaw. Guess a lot of us have problem with this. The sad part is the way this effects our life. Can't make a decision???? then do nothing. Not a good way to live. I have ended up spending many days in bed because I just could not make a simple decision. Making a simple decision should not render us unable to function but it does!

While I won't stand in the store with an item in each hand trying to decide, like a few people have mentioned, I do just stand in front of the entire display looking. I just stand there looking, like the item I want is simply going to jump off the shelf into my hands. Watching me walked around and around the banana display must look r-e-a-l-l-y strange to people.

My difficulty in making any decisions, at least for me, could possibily be linked to the poor decision making in my past. I know I had that I had very poor judgement(? bi-polar?)!

 

[sidekick]

See, I hemmed and hawed on answering this question. Turns out I did it twice!!!

I did the list thing for years!!!!!!!!!

The pro and con's when it came to major things, usually for moving. I still do it occasionally for some things. I had forgotton all about that. It use to drive my 3 older kids crazy when we would sit down and have family meetings and I would ask them to list their pro's and cons so we could compare them all.

 

[anni]

G.H.,

i KNOW I've often seen store security come and walk past me. They check me out because sometimes I just WANDER in stores, or stand so long in front of the dam Tasty-Cakes that they send someone to see what on earth I must be up to. Sometimes I'll pick up 3 or 4 things to try on, can't make the decison whether or not to try them on , put them all back and leave the store. Heck, if I were store security I'd watch me too. I loathe shopping.

Good heavens it's no character flaw. It's typical of us as PTSD people to perhaps think so, I know.

This is a good thread, too. Thank you!

Anni

 

[tryintobreathe]

OMG! YES! I totally STINK at making ANY decisions! I used to drive my ex crazy with this. Anyone who knows me well, tries at all costs to avoid having me making a decision....now, to post this or not to post...decisions, decisions!!! UGH!!!

Jen

 

[amethist]

Thank you for this thread.

I found out yesterday that my hubby has problems even deciding whether to have tea or coffee. If he wants to watch TV or listen to the radio. Plus many more simple every day stuff, he does not have to make any big decisions about anything as I do all that.

Basic decisions that we normally take for granted, he has been getting so upset about it, that he said he has sat crying because of not being able to make a simple choice.

Amethist

 

[Grama-Herc]

I never associated my endless wandering around the stores in no paticular order as part of this lovely condition we have. I, too, will pick things up with the intention to purchase it and then wander back to the department and put it back on the shelf. I know what you mean about knowing security watching you after so long. I think it is funny. I am to scared to ever think about taking anything. LOL Can you imagine the panic/anxiety that would cause? OMG

Ya know, when you think about it, "amazing" describes the fact that we are able to function at all in the world. I am out of milk, butter and mom needs a med refilled and I can't get myself out the door and to the store!!!!! AUGH!!!! Decision Stress should be a condition all on it's own.

 

[Silver]

I know people have got to think I'm nuts the way I wander around a store. I can walk up and down the same isle for 10 minutes, only to leave and return a few minutes later. And I am always guaranteed to forget at least one thing that I had gone there for. Funny set aside, this really does stress me out. Eventually I get to the point that things around me start to look/sound different. Kinda like being in a bubble or something, I don't know. If I get to that point, I know it's time to go, regardless if I had accomplished everything I had come for or not.

On big decisions, though, I do have a few people I am comfortable talking things over with, and this usually helps a lot. It doesn't mean I am going to have any easier of a time making that choice, but I know I took all the right steps.

 

[onebravegirl]

I tell my son that nervousness is just excitment that hasn't made up its mind yet.
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