Input On Therapist

[anonymous]

Triangulation

 

[watundah]

She's protective. I like that.

 

[qwyoey]

I think it would be better if you learned how to protect yourself by telling her these things instead of involving your spouse.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think a healthier option would be for you to stand up for yourself.

You're a capable, competent adult who doesn't need to be saved by a white knight. (Desiring the white knight saving thing is common in PTSD.)

Also, you may risk termination by your therapist if your partner takes it upon themselves to fix your problems. Your therapist may see you and this dynamic as problem causing and choose to walk away.

 

[joeylittle]

I think you and your therapist are both a little enmeshed, and you could really benefit from moving onto a new one.

 

[watundah]

Ultimately it comes back to whether I want to continue to put up with the lack of stability and other conflicts in order to keep working with her. But as someone said, I shouldn't need to 'endure' things from my T.

It's a shame because she knows her stuff and is trained in so many areas of trauma treatment. I still have quite a bit of work to do on my self, so I shall research and interview a few different Ts during my break and see if there's a good fit.

 

[Suzetig]

I think lack of stability is a big issue in trauma work - you need that relationship to be as steady as possible really and while as a client you might have issues with her and be angry and want to get into conflict with her, if she continually gets into conflict with you, fights with you or is blaming of you there's something else going on there which isn't healthy. It may be that the relationship has run its course and you can go into a new therapy relationship with a clearer idea of what you need and what's ok in terms of boundaries.

 

[Deleted member 33880]

Once you explained that her Facebook page was professional, I was less aghast at your therapist and you being Facebook friends.
Her unfriending you from her professional page was a bit odd to say the least. I would think a simple ' I felt hurt when you defriended me on your professional Facebook page. Can you explain what caused you to do that?' might help the situation.
Your partner going WITH you to help in a therapy session is often a great idea. I do it when I get in a real rupture with my own therapist, I find it helpful that my husband is supportive enough to do that for me. And it makes me feel a bit more powerful too, two against one :-P
Sometimes I get really peeved at my T and can write a long list of stuff that he has done that if someone out side the situation read the list, they would immediately tell me to leave the situation. Of course, when I am that cross, I do not reveal all the good he is doing me.
so sometimes it helps to try to look at why you are raging at you T now. What is she doing that is triggering this? Where does it link to trauma in your past? Have you felt negated before and disregarded - like from your mom ...
does it feel like there is a charged re enactment going on here from way back?
(I always hate it when people challenge me with this one - so feel free to be mad at me)
The art group is an odd one. My first therapist invited me to a 'The Road Less Travelled' course, with her. I went - to the first session. I find it excruciating being there with my THERAPIST and never returned. I didn't say anything about it. I wasn't mature or wise enough then to say' that should not have happened' but looking back, she meant well and I think she also realised it was not going to work. She was trying to help me meet people and we had similar interests. This was way back in the '80's. It would be totally frowned upon now. But having said that, I think it was kind that she suggested it. But totally weird that she didn't turn up. I would challenge her on that.