Intense fear and sobbing

[Dawn Blizzard]

I'm not sure where to post this. I think I've been battling the symptoms of complex PTSD for years,...

How are you doing today?
Dawn

 

[whiteraven]

How are you doing today?
Dawn

Aw...thank you for asking. The intense reactions I was having have lessened some, but I am going through a period of severe depression right now. Last week both of my toilets broke (so far, I've only been able to get one fixed - the other has to be completely replaced - and the plumber that came triggered me so badly I had to throw him out and report him), my car battery died twice on my way home from work one evening, and had to be towed to the shop the next day for repair, the batteries in my landlines died, the intercom in my condo (which allows me to monitor who is outside and buzz them in and gives me a sense of safety) broke, and those are just a few of the things that happened. :-( :-( :-(

I cancelled therapy on Monday and am feeling hopeless, like there is just no point in going on. I know it may seem like last week helped create this sense of depression and hopelessness, but it really has been building for a long time. There is just this sense of complete and utter purposelessness, not just for me, but for everybody and the world. Nothing seems to matter and there doesn't seem to be a reason for the existence of anything or anyone.

It's truly a horrible feeling.