Intro - Better Late Than Never

[followthelove]

Hello all,

I'm a medic in the Army National Guard. I've been in for 9 years now, and deployed to Northern Afghanistan in 09-10. We were in Kunar province for anyone who knows the area, about 5 miles from the Pakistan border, near the Korengal and Pesh valleys. I was one of about 17 females on the base. I deployed with an Agribusiness Development Team, but when I wasn't on mission I spent the majority of my down time working in the BAS or with the FST. We got all the medevac's who were not stable enough to make it to Jalalabad or Bagram. Being near the Korengal (before it was closed down) kept us pretty busy. I received my Combat Medical Badge for actions on 3 Jul 2010. Don't really want to get into the details, but I'm very thankful all survived that day.

The longer I'm home, the more glaring and complex my issues seem to get. There is the combat scenarios, the hospital/mas cal incidents, close friend KIA, but also being one of three females in the unit, the alienation and out and out backstabbing by people in my unit - not being able to trust who I was going outside the wire with every day - all these things I'm realizing have had a profound effect on me.

So that's my story in a nutshell.

 

[Jimmy1]

Good Morning FTL, sorry for the whole intro thing, but we have so many new people, and other's that just lurk and are not ready to make an intro post which makes it hard for us to know who they are and where they are coming from.

Now for you post....

Everyone who actually deploys to Afghanistan does it hard, with mortars, rockets, and being unsure whether to trust the locals, you being with the casevac would be even harder. I honestly don't know how you do it, day after day.

How far are you along?? I get to meet my youngest grandson tomorrow, he is six weeks old. Do you know what you are having and have you thought of a name???

I just read your latest post about day 2.

I am glad to know that you have a supportive husband. I gather he fully understands PTSD. The feelings you are getting are so natural with regards to PTSD, but it's more to do with military conditioning, and I am glad you are giving in to them, I still struggle. I set the bar way too high and write a list of a zillion things to do, then only manage one or two, so I beat myself up over it and criticise myself for being slack and idle (part of being a warrant officer). For years of service you were given tasks and criticised as to why you did not do them to a high enough standard. With the military, nothing is ever good enough.

Here are three articles that I offer all new veterans, so they can fully understand what is going on, plus they can give them to their families if they don't understand.

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Take it nice and easy and make sure you ask for help if you need it, we will all be there for you. Remember, you hubby will be having a tough time too, he must have cast iron skin, and if not will need it for the pregnancy itself, let alone 'PTSD rants'.

Cheers

Jimmy

By the way, I have asked Anthony if he knows anybody on the other PTSD forum who has gone through a pregnancy and what safe medication they have used.

 

[Jimmy1]

Hey FTL,

As another suggestion, if your hubby starts finding it tough, he could always join the supporters section of the other forum. After all, he might need to vent from time to time too.

Just a thought.

 

[followthelove]

Hi Jimmy,

No worries re: the intro - I should have done it! I've been known to speak/type with no filter occassionally (read: often) too. :) We are 7 months along, but we haven't found out if we are having a boy or a girl - yet! I think we will do a gender reveal at the shower - we have an ultrasound sealed in an envelope that shows the gender - so we will have the bakery look at it and bake the inside of the cake pink or blue!

Congratulations on your grandson! 6 weeks is when they really start to get cute - smiling and responding! I'm always wonderstruck by babies, and how life goes on... as it should. But when you see the ugly side of things, it sure makes you appreciate those tiny miracles, doesn't it?

My hubby fully understands PTSD because he has it too. He was a medic with an infantry unit in Iraq 2004-2006. He is also dealing with TBI and some other injuries. He's a little further ahead of me in the healing process, and is pretty intuitive when it comes to what I need. Besides that, he's just an amazing and wonderful person, and I'm very happy he picked me! :) I'll tell him about the forum and see if he wants to join.

THank you for the articles link - I read a few of them, and will read these too. You are so right about military conditioning and setting the bar high. It's food for thought, for sure.

I really appreciate you putting out the feelers for me re: pregnancy and PTSD. I honestly feel a bit better just having all the positive feedback and support I've gotten coming on here. Thanks!

 

[JarHed]

Hey FTL

Welcome to the forums, although I've already replied to a couple of your posts. Glad you made it back from over there and that you found us here. Jimmy, as always, has given you the 411 on where to get some good info. It's difficult enough to deal with PTSD without being pregnant. I'm sure it complicates the issues. We're here to help in any way we can. Be well, and again, Welcome.

Jarhed

 

[Anglesachse]

Better late than never

LOL that has got to be the best Medic title going LOL

Like the other have said, Welcome FTL daring, nice to see you made it.

 

[Jimmy1]

Going off on a tangent here, I remember a certain day on exercise we pack marched all day and switched to night vision and marched half the night. As you all know there is no real depth perception with night vision and I rolled my ankle slightly. Not wanting to appear week being a senior sergeant and all, I kept going only to roll it properly tearing the tendons a few kilometres down the road. The medevac took me to the base camp. Being a part regular, part reserve unit and it being a weekend and all, this big fat reservist medic had to be woken three times. She appeared and was pissed off, she took my boot off (doh) and you all know what happened (balloon) ankle. Then she told me that she had forgotten the ice and then went about trying to put my boot back on. I was just about to knock her out when the Sergeant Major came back and he took me to the base medical centre down the road.

The moral of the story and in keeping with the post, I would rather it have been never.

 

[Anglesachse]

Not quit the same as a medic but..

I was having a dental check befor going to Bosnia, laid back in the chair, and this Army Dentist poking around my teeth, all you heard was "OK LCpl..this might feel abit funny" and he laid his knee across my lap. Didn`t realy think about it at that moment, so I just let him carry on.

In about 5 seconds, he had wound a clamp around a wisdom tooth, and literaly put all his wieght onto the clamp. And pulled the damn thing without so much as an explanation, or an Anaesthetic.

I nearly knocked him out, but the 2 dental nurse`s were quicker and jumped on me to stop me getting up. But the wanker got a mouthfull of abuse, and I was escorted out of the MRS by the Provos all the way to the guard room, blood pouring from my mouth.

After that I refused to see an Army Dentist again, and it wasn`t untill I got out 3 years later that I went to a civvie dentist.

 

[Jimmy1]

Might start a thread on this.
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[followthelove]

Hey, you patients aren't always a walk in the park either you know! However, I feel it is my duty to remind you all that most doctors and dentists who graduated at the top of their class were *NOT* recruited into the military. That said, I worked with some amazing professionals, especially in the Stan - one guy was in his 50s and a surgeon - he joined the army and deployed almost immediately. But he said it was totally worth it because he got a steady paycheck and didn't have to worry about malpractice insurance or billing or overhead or paying employees or not getting paid when patients no-showed.

So, I'm on here so obviously I dealt with a lot of trauma and bad medical things. But I think the closest I came to throwing up was during sick call at the BAS. This female LTC comes in saying she needs to have her ears flushed because she gets earwax buildup. She was a very, um, boisterous individual, and pretty funny. So I get my nice little mixture of saline and hydrogen peroxide and I'm flushing her ear and finally this ROCK of earwax comes out, like thumb tack size, and it REEKS. It was so huge that she actually lost her equilibrium and was nauseous for a minute after it came out. I came so close to losing my cookies I had to step into the pharmacy to regain my composure. When I came out she was like, "Wow, have I been yelling this whole time?" I was like "Yes, ma'am." lol

 

[followthelove]

Hey, you patients aren't always a walk in the park either you know! However, I feel it is my duty to remind you all that most doctors and dentists who graduated at the top of their class were *NOT* recruited into the military. That said, I worked with some amazing professionals, especially in the Stan - one guy was in his 50s and a surgeon - he joined the army and deployed almost immediately. But he said it was totally worth it because he got a steady paycheck and didn't have to worry about malpractice insurance or billing or overhead or paying employees or not getting paid when patients no-showed.

So, I'm on here so obviously I dealt with a lot of trauma and bad medical things. But I think the closest I came to throwing up was during sick call at the BAS. This female LTC comes in saying she needs to have her ears flushed because she gets earwax buildup. She was a very, um, boisterous individual, and pretty funny. So I get my nice little mixture of saline and hydrogen peroxide and I'm flushing her ear and finally this ROCK of earwax comes out, like thumb tack size, and it REEKS. It was so huge that she actually lost her equilibrium and was nauseous for a minute after it came out. I came so close to losing my cookies I had to step into the pharmacy to regain my composure. When I came out she was like, "Wow, have I been yelling this whole time?" I was like "Yes, ma'am." lol

 

[tho9900]

lol FTL.... as a former Devil Doc/Hospital Corpsman/Combat Medic depending on what branch in the US you come from, the ear wax thing... ewwwww... got some stories imma not repeat... and I have a journal I am keeping so might be an upcoming post you will identify with..on being a medic in general

btw gotta buddy in the NG who needs help so trying to guide here no luck... a medic as well.. hoping he finds peace