Better Late Than Never

[cherryblossom]

Oh, and cherry, I did choose a lot of what happened to me. I directed as much of the abuse onto myself as I could, to protect Casey--my little brother.

I understand what you are saying, but you still didn't choose it. You were a caring sister so you "chose" to be abused as aposed to your brother, but you still didn't "choose" to be abused. If there was a choice between you, your brother or none, I'm sure you would have chosen none. Just because you made a choice between you or your brother does not mean you chose to be abused. No one asks for that. No-one should be given that as a choice. It was still the abusers choice, to abuse someone. You did not choose to be abused, your abuser chose to abuse. It's the abusers fault, not yours.

 

[Hlost]

Thank you for the welcome :)

Darkness, I think I understand what you are saying as I often found myself 'coming to' with my blankets lying in front of my younger brother's bedroom door. I would have done anything for him, still would. I am a little girl who threw her dolls away at 7yrs old knowing it was time to grow up. I never picked another one up. I look at my Niece who is 7yrs old now and I can't imagine her without her Barbie or thinking it's her responsibility to be the adult or start writing her Wills.

I believe in self-protection, I think it's just smart for any woman. I refuse to walk early mornings without it, that would be asking for trouble and I'm not stupid. I don't think I need to load up like I did in the city, I just need to stay legal, there is a terror of people like me with weapons ;)

Rain

 

[brokenchild]

I can't/won't talk too much about how I can relate to this. Let's just say I am no stranger to sacrificing myself for another person and "choosing" to be the one hurt instead.

 

[Hlost]

It's a difficult thing to face and deal with, I do understand that brokenchild.

 

[WonderingWhy]

DS, I want first to welcome you. As far as feeling it was YOUR choice I am in agreement with the others. This was not your choice to be surrounded by abuse. The only thing you should feel responsible for, was the selfless courage you had in protecting your little brother! You should feel proud, not shame or blame. Is it normal too? Heck! Yes! I still feel so ashamed I have yet to share my stories!!! My head knows it was not my fault but I still can't get past it. Please quit blaming yourself and hold your head high for your bravery, courage and strength. I am also happy that you have found happiness in marriage, you deserve it. I hope your brother is also doing well.