curvyblonde
New Here
Dear Dr
A Brief History
Aged 9: Sexually assaulted by adult male ‘family friend’ – employee of my father (publican/hotelier). Willing participant? – was it wrong? – did I ‘enjoy’ it?
Soon afterwards, had my first ‘drunk’ – sampled unfinished drinks from the sherry ‘toast’ tray at a wedding reception function at father’s hotel. Felt weird – felt brilliant – violently ill afterwards but knew I would do it again (couldn’t wait).
Shunted around different locations/schools following father’s career (parents both becoming heavy drinkers). Eventually ‘encouraged’ to apply (and accepted) for place at xxxxxxxxx school as boarder (lived in lodgings). Was expelled for drinking and vandalising a car on xxxxxx Avenue (criminal conviction) – allowed to stay on just to finish ‘O-Levels’
From then on everything revolved around drinking and ‘having a good time’ and pulling the birds.
Thoughts about sexual assault still, – did I enjoy it – AM I GAY! Must prove I’m a real man. Problems with women, relationships, I’M NOT GAY – look at all the women I can ‘have’! Have to drink first – Dutch courage.
Served apprenticeship – carpeted several times for attendance (hangovers) – nearly sacked. Made redundant (plant closure).
Lived with woman for a while – broke up because of behaviour through drinking. Found new woman (bit of a drinker).
Got married lasted a few years, stormy, mortgage etc., career blossoming, xxxxxxxx UK - (telecoms, qualifications). Divorced took voluntary redundancy after 12 years and went contracting (first contact – 12 months Saudi Arabia – lasted 11 months spent few nights in Riyadh jail (drinking). Company had to bribe officials to get me out of country (up for 6 months and 50 lashes). Now banned from KSA.
Continued working and drinking and getting into trouble – mainly Europe. Was assaulted by intruder in my (mortgaged) home, with a knife and severely beaten. Reported to police. Assailant started campaign of intimidation, windows repeatedly broken, maggots through windows, rats through letter box, meat cleaver in front door, public threats of death from complete strangers.
Left town in rental car to avoid trouble drove all over UK and Ireland staying in hotels with female companion. Ran up huge bills.
Assailant prosecuted and convicted got nine months charge reduced with plea bargain from attempted murder to actual bodily harm w/intent.
Assailant released from prison trouble started all over again. Walked away from house – couldn’t bare it. House eventually repossessed. Work sporadic. Drinking heavily, living with woman (drinker) in shared rented house, two stints working in USA. Split up – went to live with parents (broke and broken). Work in Jamaica, UK. Offer of job in Afghanistan – opportunity to stop drinking – no chance. Everyone (westerner) was a drunk. Witnessed a violent death, returned to UK after 3 months.
Got job in USA – fired for missing work and turning up smelling of drink. Ran up debts; fled back to UK (banned from USA).
Drinking worsened, perforated stomach ulcer, various failed attempts to stop (accompanied by withdrawal seizures and hospital admissions). Suicide attempted (40x 500mg co-codamol and alcohol).
Parents both hospitalised through drink - father has Korsakoff’s and vascular dementia.
Had complete breakdown.
Sister got Social Services involved - saved my life. Admitted to mental health unit xxxxx 12 December 2006, diagnosed PTSD; Rehab unit, xxxxx; xxxxxxxx Dual-diagnosis project, xxxx. Own flat now, training for Addiction Counselling at University. Still receiving counselling. I haven’t had a drink since and doing ok
A Brief History
Aged 9: Sexually assaulted by adult male ‘family friend’ – employee of my father (publican/hotelier). Willing participant? – was it wrong? – did I ‘enjoy’ it?
Soon afterwards, had my first ‘drunk’ – sampled unfinished drinks from the sherry ‘toast’ tray at a wedding reception function at father’s hotel. Felt weird – felt brilliant – violently ill afterwards but knew I would do it again (couldn’t wait).
Shunted around different locations/schools following father’s career (parents both becoming heavy drinkers). Eventually ‘encouraged’ to apply (and accepted) for place at xxxxxxxxx school as boarder (lived in lodgings). Was expelled for drinking and vandalising a car on xxxxxx Avenue (criminal conviction) – allowed to stay on just to finish ‘O-Levels’
From then on everything revolved around drinking and ‘having a good time’ and pulling the birds.
Thoughts about sexual assault still, – did I enjoy it – AM I GAY! Must prove I’m a real man. Problems with women, relationships, I’M NOT GAY – look at all the women I can ‘have’! Have to drink first – Dutch courage.
Served apprenticeship – carpeted several times for attendance (hangovers) – nearly sacked. Made redundant (plant closure).
Lived with woman for a while – broke up because of behaviour through drinking. Found new woman (bit of a drinker).
Got married lasted a few years, stormy, mortgage etc., career blossoming, xxxxxxxx UK - (telecoms, qualifications). Divorced took voluntary redundancy after 12 years and went contracting (first contact – 12 months Saudi Arabia – lasted 11 months spent few nights in Riyadh jail (drinking). Company had to bribe officials to get me out of country (up for 6 months and 50 lashes). Now banned from KSA.
Continued working and drinking and getting into trouble – mainly Europe. Was assaulted by intruder in my (mortgaged) home, with a knife and severely beaten. Reported to police. Assailant started campaign of intimidation, windows repeatedly broken, maggots through windows, rats through letter box, meat cleaver in front door, public threats of death from complete strangers.
Left town in rental car to avoid trouble drove all over UK and Ireland staying in hotels with female companion. Ran up huge bills.
Assailant prosecuted and convicted got nine months charge reduced with plea bargain from attempted murder to actual bodily harm w/intent.
Assailant released from prison trouble started all over again. Walked away from house – couldn’t bare it. House eventually repossessed. Work sporadic. Drinking heavily, living with woman (drinker) in shared rented house, two stints working in USA. Split up – went to live with parents (broke and broken). Work in Jamaica, UK. Offer of job in Afghanistan – opportunity to stop drinking – no chance. Everyone (westerner) was a drunk. Witnessed a violent death, returned to UK after 3 months.
Got job in USA – fired for missing work and turning up smelling of drink. Ran up debts; fled back to UK (banned from USA).
Drinking worsened, perforated stomach ulcer, various failed attempts to stop (accompanied by withdrawal seizures and hospital admissions). Suicide attempted (40x 500mg co-codamol and alcohol).
Parents both hospitalised through drink - father has Korsakoff’s and vascular dementia.
Had complete breakdown.
Sister got Social Services involved - saved my life. Admitted to mental health unit xxxxx 12 December 2006, diagnosed PTSD; Rehab unit, xxxxx; xxxxxxxx Dual-diagnosis project, xxxx. Own flat now, training for Addiction Counselling at University. Still receiving counselling. I haven’t had a drink since and doing ok
