Sufferer Introduction

[dejayb]

I have been suffering since I was a child. 2 rapes, abuse and neglect. I still don't know what true love is. Two car accidents, a divorce after 22 yrs by an abuser. My kids don't want to hear it . I now have multiple illnesses and am trying to get over a two and a half year abusive relationship and dealing with these illnesses alone. I live alone now and after all I went through last year with the medical community I have to figure out how to get beyond their mistreatment and accusation that are false. I still can't drive my truck . I almost died after the last accident and it took 4 years for them to fuse my neck because they didn't know how bad it was til they did the surgery. I have let the wrong kind of people into my life here because they said they wanted to help, but instead bled me dry. Monetarily, physically and emotionally.I'm so done with life. I'm older and I have stayed strong, but can no longer do it .

 

[Deleted member 34195]

I feel ya. I am sorry for everything you been through. I lost my friend who lost hope too. She ended her I wish people like you were closer by-- we all feel alone. I am listening to this song called How do you get that lonely by Blaine Larsen-- A lot people people feel this way based on the comments under that video. I am sick of life. I am sick of hurting. I am sick of suffering. I am sorry your children are not talking to you. I find family to be some of the most toxic people. I do. the homeless- strangers have sometimes been nicer to me than my so called family and friends. Hugs to you.

I wouldn't want you to die. That is the truth. I don't know how to make your pain go away. I understand why you feel like giving up. I do. I am sorry.

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome to the forum. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 28740]

You have found a good and caring place to share, and learn. Warm welcome, not alone.

 

[GrayOwl]

I saw your post a minute after you posted.
I had no clue what to say. I don't know if I have words to express how you find hope in deep despair.
When I give up things never get better.
When I have hope, sometimes things get better.
I'll say a prayer. I'll send a hug. :hug:
I hope you can rewrite some of your programs to find hope. To endure pain and discomfort.
Click on my avatar and send me a message any time you want. I usually check in every day.
There are so many nice people here. I know you can find hope. Start with that.
I've rewritten my hope program. I'm still working on it. Now I'm learning to rewrite my other programs so that I am not as susceptible to trauma and abuse. I'm to the point where I believe I can change and things will get better. And I am seeing positive change in some areas and some relationships in my life. Changes where I thought none could ever occur. Changes where I was absolutely clueless.
5 months ago I was crippled and could not walk. Today I walked down a flight of steps.

Thank you for sharing. You are not alone.

 

[intothelight]

@dejayb Welcome to the forum! :)

I too am older, 55, and have had a lifetime filled with trauma and when I was in the midst of my own PTSD flair up, I honestly felt that I didn't have it in me to on. However, that is the lie of PTSD and there is still life and a lot of good life to be lived as you work on your recovery. If possible see a trauma therapist and use this site to help yourself make each day a little better. The information and support here is amazing and it can get better.....much better.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the forums :hug: I hope this place helps you. It's very useful because of the bulk amount of people who feel similar and understand. There is a lot of advice and support to be found here :) I hope that this amazing community helps you as much as it helped me, reading all the similar stories, and learning a lot along the way. Hugs if you accept :hug: