Introverted

[Befe]

Hrm, To put it simply I have no friends. I haven't ever really had them, to put it simply I'm introverted and incredibly shy so these two things alone make it difficult. I also find it nerve racking to look someone I dont know in the eyes. The eyes give too much away about someone, sometimes it can be a little too much for me to handle unless I'm comfortable with said person/s.

I also have nothing to do with any immediate family besides my sibling we've looked out for each other since children. I have no other family but him.

Academically speaking I achieve well, but when it comes to working in groups.... I find it very difficult to talk freely without being shy or anxious.
I believe it's something I can't change about my personality since I'm in my 20's I'm not the out going type.

I struggle to keep casual work throughout university previously due to this, I've been fired for not being a team member although I was still working like everyone else if not more so.....

I have a partner, his lovely nothing wrong with him treats incredibly if it wasn't for his company when home after work I'd probably be more lost. When I first met him offline I couldn't look him in the eye at all he made me extremely nervous. As luck would have it we've been together for four years now.

I'm more or less just wanting to know if others accept themselves for similar mannerisms of being shy or introverted. I honestly can say I accept myself but at the same time I dont believe I could be ridiculously out going.

 

[Pawag]

I remember recognizing that I was having a really difficult time looking people in the eye when my symptoms started to flare up. I didn't have that problem before. I learned through my healing process that eyes were a very important flag to me when my abusers victimized me. I also learned that I sought 'kind eyes' from people and that they could fool me by giving me kind eyes even if they said the most horrible things to me. I felt it was about intention and if the eyes were kind the intention was too. I was so wrong.

Guess I am just trying to say that I understand and commend you on your insight having to do with others eyes. This may well be a huge symptom of your past abuse and not really a shyness you were born with. I am so sorry that your job was affected. Many people just don't understand. Are you in therapy at all?

 

[Tuvot]

I believe it's something I can't change about my personality since I'm in my 20's I'm not the out going type

I'm more or less just wanting to know if others accept themselves for similar mannerisms of being shy or introverted

I'm in my 20's as well, and also shy and introverted. I'll always be an introvert but I think that the shyness and anxiety definitely is possible to work with, so for me it has been important to separate the two. The introvert part is basically that I need time alone and that I prefer the company of 1-3 people instead of large groups. And that's okay and totally fine, so I accept myself for being introverted. I do not, on the other hand, accept that I'm I shy person, and that that's just a part of my personality and can't be changed. I'm sure people experience shyness differently, and maybe I confuse shyness with social anxiety when I talk about it, but to me being shy has brought me a tremendous amount of suffering! I've felt so stupid and defective as a human being, always feeling like such a failure. I see that as a result of the abuse I suffered as a child, not because shyness and anxiety is a part of who I am. Luckily, I've been able to work with this through therapy and getting new relationships that has improved my anxiety a lot. I know how it feels to have few friends. Please know that this doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. I'm glad to hear you have a good relationship with your brother :) Can you talk to him about this stuff? Do you know if he by any chance is struggling with similar issues?

So, none of us will problably ever be ridiculously outgoing, but hey, so what? I do think it's possible though, to be able to work in grous and talk freely without getting too anxious. Because I see the last thing as a part of my social anxiety. And I'll never accept that social anxiety is a part of my personality. (By the way, I really like this cartoon)
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/7009222/what-the-world-looks-like-with-social-anxiety

Sorry to hear you lost your job because of this. You should've been met with understanding, not have been fired. I used to struggle with eye contact too, but this has gotten a lot better lately. I'm sure you'll find that eye contact gets easier as your anxiety decreases, at least it did for me. Sorry. This was long. I hope it made sense.

 

[Perag]

I am the same, I still wonder if it's total nonsense that we are "social animals". If so, why are there a lot of introverts. I don't feel I gain anything socialising. A partner is good, but all these extra "friends", what are they good for? I personally think we're just meant to live in small little tribes, but what if your tribe abused you?

 

[Guwar]

I think that shyness and introversion are separate qualities (although they may overlap and play off one another). I am definitely introverted but I don't think anyone would ever say I'm shy, nor do I use this word to describe myself. I do believe that introversion is a quality that is set for life, as in introvert versus extrovert, however it may vary throughout life if considered on a gradient scale instead.

I accept myself for being introverted. I think if you did a bit of research you'd find that there are many great people out there who are introverts.

 

[Nili]

I'm an introvert too. I used to try to be more extroverted but lesrned I don't really enjoy that. I leave that to the real extroverts who do enjoy that.
evrryone should feel free to be exactly as they really are. We all have our own gifts to offer