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Intrusive Memories Vs Flashback

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I've seen "emotional flashbacks" mentioned too. I'm not real clear on exactly what those are.

For me, I can be doing something simple like buying a coffee and get instantly paralyzed with fear. My eyes still work and so I look to someone I know and see if something has scared them. If not, I then know it's "just" an emotional flashback and I will use strategies to move past it. So for me, I'm taken back to the emotions of fear, and the freeze response that I had during the abuse, but I don't get visual or auditory from the abuse, just the emotions.

I think the damaging thing from these flashbacks is that as a child I had to hide and suppress my emotions and now as an adult, I can't trust my emotions as they can be flashbacks and not true to the moment. As someone who is 40ish, it's demeaning to look to my children who are less than 10 and have to trust their judgement (emotions) more than my own.
 
I'm like others on this thread - intrusive memories are happening from inside my mind, flashbacks are apparently outside my mind (even though, of course, they aren't)

The thing that helped me with intrusive memories was getting used to catching them very early. My therapist was able to point out that I generally would start breathing faster when they happened in session - and then I figured out that there was a short window, maybe 10 seconds, where I'd be aware that my heart rate was up but nothing had really started. After that, it got easier to get really aggressive with distraction techniques. But I don't mean to make it sound easy, it's hard, and I don't have any good advice for sort of scrubbing them away after they happen. Physical activity helps me, mostly.
 
KwanYingirl ,Joeylittle,

Parts of me trying to come back together. Interior self fragmented. The me, the core me, trying to rebuild, communicate with the I can not pull it all together
 
...instructive memories are harder to cope with because they don't come on with a Big Bang like a flashback. For me it's more insidious....what are some tactics that you've used to keep them away?
I'd boil my helpful skills down to these areas:
  • The idea of coping with intrusive thoughts/memories vs eliminating them, was more useful; it decreased fighting against myself, and it hastened their disappating-since I actually dealt with them instead of trying to shut them down.
  • Being very mindful, of when they first give the hint of showing up. For me, I notice an internal, mental criticism that pops up, or I notice my body getting anxious. At that point, I do best if I take some immediate actions (saying 'hello' to them, listing my positive qualities, calling a friend, running up a flight of stairs, making a point to verbalized the memories and 'talk to them'-a psychosynthesis technique, or doing a focusing technique-that listens to the and gives you a boundary with them, in therapy-the ease of doing this in therapy really depends on your T. (You can find some psychosynthesis and focusing exercises online or in books.)
 
I don't have a big problem with intrusive thoughts so maybe the below misses the mark.

On the days they get in the way, this is my strategy. First I try to give them some time. If I'm at work (which is where they tend to come) I give them 15min of attention to see if I can resolve them by giving them the attention they are fighting for. If/when that doesn't lessen them, I use distraction.

The best distraction for me is mind AND body. That is doing something that engages both. Eg watching an interesting TV show AND doing crochet.

Once I've had a break from them, I'll again give them some focus and time but after say 30min, I'll go back to distraction. I give them defined windows of attention.

To give them some focus, you could try writing in a diary what the thoughts are, trying to capture what all the thoughts are...not judging or interpreting but only recording. Later when they are less in the way, reading what they were saying might provide some insight which could help resolve them.

Hope that helps. If I've missed the mark, please disregard my post.
 
Just because your t mentioned "parts" doesn't mean that you have DID. "Parts" is a paradigm for thinking about the human personality that is extremely helpful for lots of people (it has been transformational for me even though I'm still in the thick of it). We are all made up of parts that exist within our larger self. The larger self, or core self, (or Buddha nature if you will) is that inviolable, expansive, creative, compassionate, etc. self that gets obscured by parts that have been hurt in some way and are carrying the hurt still. So we get all mixed up with those parts. I think about "intrusive memories" as being a little mixed up with a part, and "flashbacks" as being a LOT mixed up with a part. Both are the only ways our parts have to communicate with our larger self.

I think (for people further down the healing path than I am) people can use their strategies for staying in their larger selves and listen to their parts and give them what they need. For me, much of the time, if a part is trying to communicate (through pain, or emotion, or body memory, etc.), I have other parts that jump into the fray and everything gets so scrambled that I lose a sense of my larger self and find it really difficult to implement any of the grounding strategies I know to keep me in the present. Figuring out how to drag oneself (albeit gently, which I'm not good at) back into the present moment seems to be the key to all of this healing process. Because if you can stay in the present moment and reassure all your parts that you are safe and strong and can take care of yourself, you can calm them and heal them so they aren't so frantic to communicate with you about their freak-outs, and so you won't be paralyzed with fear when they do.

There are many approaches to staying present...all of them relate to becoming aware of your senses in the now...feeling into your body (feet on the floor, butt in the chair, breath moving in and out, what you're hearing now, what you're seeing now, what you're smelling now). When I grumble about how slow the healing process is, and how much I'm struggling even though I'm trying so hard to do mindful breathing and movement, my therapist keeps saying, "It's a practice." And he's right. It is what all people who meditate say. And if you practice about a million times a day, it does gradually start to make a difference. The hard part is tuning into your larger self and learning what it feels like in your body when you're tuned into that part.

I don't know what it's like for anyone else, but the biggest bit of progress I've made in the past year+ of all this therapy and meditation and bodywork is learning what I feel like when I am in my larger self. And it feels great. I wish it would happen more, and I'm told that if I keep up this practice and the therapy, it will happen more. It's just a long slog.
 
@Hope4Now thanks to KwanYingirl for starting this thread, and love the Hot damn! Therapy will start on the 29th. A good book found years ago "Going to pieces without falling apart." Michael Epstein, MD. Have to dig that out again, though probably loaned out. Too much trying to do this on my own. one of my dogs names is Buddha Boo. Centered and always present. Wish she could talk.
 
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