General Iraq Vet Appears To Now Be Dependant On Pills

[Thankful]

Hi

my ex - who is now a dear friend - seems to be slowing moving down into the vortex of pill dependency for sleep and pain management. It has only really become evident to me (as a potential problem) as of the last month, but especially the last few weeks. Would like to know if I should broach the subject as a friend? Any advice?

what keeps me from doing so is his anger, and that he might push me away. but should I take the leap anyhow and let him know that i have noticed a change in his behavior? Since he got more or new meds he is decidedly different! No more texting, rarely ever a phone call (to me), hardly ever returns my calls or texts (used to do so promptly) and when I do reach him over the phone he's asleep! every time i call that is how i find him now. and he is SO out of it, he sounds so incredibly deeply out of it that he can't speak, says he'll call me back later and then doesn't do so. He did call to say he mailed me a package for my bday (which was yesterday) and that was the most 'alive' I've heard him yet.


He wants me to come visit him and frankly I'm a touch nervous. not just because of pill issue, but the anger issue (and he was also on anti-depressants for that, don't know if he still is).

I dreamt about him this morning...something I haven't done for a long time (he's been back from Iraq now for 1.5 years). I dreamt that he was watching a movie with 5 of his buddies (in Iraq, on base) he left to go do something, can't remember what, and while gone he's friends died from a bomb attack. it was intense, and intensly sad. Sometimes... I feel as though I tap in to him (in my dreams) and see what ails him. Its been quite eerily on target a couple times.

anyhow...off subject a bit...back to main question.... any advice or medical knowledge regarding pain killers and sleeping pills? Should I be worried? He is seeing a VA doc and Vet Ctr (doc meaning psych). there is no more talk of therapy for his back pain, or treatment, just pills. I don't think this is good.

One night I called and he had taken three pain killers...it freaked me out, is that a lot of pills all at once? I proceeded to listen to his speech begin to slur and his thinking/communicating to be similar to a drunk.

I'm worried. any knowledge would be great.

thanks!

 

[2quilt]

Remind him of how Heath Ledger died last year (the actor who played the Joker in the last Batman movie) with an overdose of pain killers, sleeping pills, anxiety pills and cold medicine.

If he is doing that as a cry for help, answer the call. If he is not sleeping, ask him about going to a doctor. Ask if he has given up on life. If he wants to die, ask him about getting help either at the VA or outside the VA, but don't wait.

Keep tabs on him. Tell him you care but dont want to be pushy. Ask what he wants.

 

[Thankful]

Thank you for writing 2quilt! :) He is being treated by the VA and Vet Ctr, but those docs (psych's) are the ones prescribing the meds, so not sure how much help they are, but not ruling them out.

NEWS UPDATE: after writing to you all last night, I got a text from him (but didn't see it until this morning) that he'd been in a car accident and just left the ER! yikes. One of my first thoughts was wondering how well he's able to make good judgment calls while driving or doing anything and because of all the meds? Did this contribute?
anyhow - my actual first thought wa, "holy crap, more trauma! he doesn't need more trauma right now". its too much, he's had way too much trauma.

I said I would go visit him and am working on flight arrangements. I've been in a few car wrecks, its horrible, but to think he's also been through Iraq, has a permanent back injury, constant pain and nightmares on top of that? too much.

I feel good about going to see him, I want him to know that he is loved and want to help him as he is all alone.

 

[TLight]

YOu are a good soul to stand by this guy's side. He needs that....and I thank you too.

 

[jefferylee]

Hello Special K,

I suffer from PTSD,depression,insomnia,AND chronic pain.I'm on anti-depressants,sleeping pills,as well as several pain meds and I can tell you that it is a daily battle trying to take just enough medication to relieve the pain,yet not so much as I become a vegetable.It is very,very easy to slowly become dependant on these meds and begin to increase dosages as your body ajusts to the levels of drugs one is taking.

As the one taking the drugs,I am not always in a position to be the best judge of how well I am functioning...of course I'll tell you everything is fine,but in reality,that is not always the case.It's the people around me that have a better perspective of how well I'm performing ( or screwing up! )

If your friend is anything like me,I would probably be the last one to provide my Dr. w/ accurate feedback as to how the drugs are affecting me ( because I'm on drugs!!...duh ) and if the Drs. don't get accurate feedback,they are unable to then make ajustments in the meds I'm taking.Perhaps you could provide his Dr. w/ a non-biased assessment of how he is acting on his meds?

You are a true friend and your buddy is very lucky to have you there to give him support at a time he needs it the most! Best of luck to you both

Peace and Hope...jefferylee

 

[Deleted member 541]

Sounds like your vet has an issue with his meds. One of the problems with us with PTSD, we will use whatever we can to numb the pain, whether it be emotional or physical. Mainly because we feel that we can't cope with either. Mostly because we don't have good coping skills at the time, and popping a pill is a hell off a lot easier than doing the actual work to get healthy....

He has an issue, and only he can deal with it. The problem is, when, will he admit that he HAS a problem.....Denial is a powerful tool. You can only do so much to point out the obvious to him, and he then needs to be responsible and take action. If he doesn't.......Well there is little that you can do.....

 

[Lucy Loo]

I totally agree with SheCat. The thing that jumped out at me about your post was the mention of his anger problems. If you bring this up to him, could it spark some anger? Could you possibly be in danger? If so, I wouldn't say anything to him about it. Whatever you have to say about his pill use will not deter him in any way from taking the pills, and could cause you harm, so that is an issue I don't think I would broach with him.