Kas_Can_Fly
Diamond Member
Ok, so whilst I never wake up feeling lively and refreshed, the best I feel in the morning is if I sleep until I no longer feel that I desperately need to. For me, typically I would go to bed about 11 and wake up between 10 and 11 the next day, if I go to bed at 10 instead I'll wake up between 9 and 10. Every now and then I'll go to bed at like 6pm and not wake up properly until midday the next day, but only on rare occassions and usually when I'm upset. The thing is, whilst I was lucky to get to sleep at a reasonable hour, I wake up on average 18-20 times a night, sometimes more but rarely less.
My sleep has been like this, clockwork and for many years now, I can wake up earlier for a number of days or weeks, but in the end I crash completely exhausted and then when I'm lacking sleep I get more unstable mentally. So now I try and avoid that at all costs.
Now I'm on Mirtazapine, I don't get to sleep until 3-4 in the morning and though the amount of times I wake up has decreased to about 8-12 times a night and for less length of time per awakening. When I take it, I get a wide awake feeling for about four hours, but then still can't sleep until I'm exhausted. Because my mum is monitoring my medication, I had often been taking it at 9-10pm which was not helping, but now we've worked out a system where she always gives me the next day's tablet, so I can take it earlier. Yesterday I was told by a different social worker to my normal one that "Mirtazapine doesn't give you a rush, you're just so worried about sleep that you think it does, it's in your head" and that I mustn't drink caffeine (I NEVER do) or Red Bull (Well that's got caffeine in, I insisted, I NEVER drink caffeine and typically avoid sugar but was ignored). Ok so this triggered me into feeling stupidly guilty - that this was all my fault and completely unsafe, even though I know that insomnia is on the side-effects list and that many people get a rush on higher doses.
The fact is that this sleep issue is exact to the Mirtazapine, it started when I was first given it in hospital in January. If I skip it one night, I can sleep. I don't even care that much about it, I care more that I've been asking for a psychiatrist appointment to sort out meds since October and I've still got to wait until April. He also told me to wake up at 6 every morning - but if I do that I'll end up incredibly unstable or in hospital and seeing as the Mirtazapine is already leaving me always down and always hopeless, I don't need any extra pushes.
Sorry for all that ranting - I needed it. I feel guilty and bad about my sleep and that people will judge me as being lazy or will tell me I don't need as much as I think I do, but I really do need that much. I just wonder does anyone else find that they need about 11-12 hours or even more a night of sleep (I know it's less after all the wake ups)?
My sleep has been like this, clockwork and for many years now, I can wake up earlier for a number of days or weeks, but in the end I crash completely exhausted and then when I'm lacking sleep I get more unstable mentally. So now I try and avoid that at all costs.
Now I'm on Mirtazapine, I don't get to sleep until 3-4 in the morning and though the amount of times I wake up has decreased to about 8-12 times a night and for less length of time per awakening. When I take it, I get a wide awake feeling for about four hours, but then still can't sleep until I'm exhausted. Because my mum is monitoring my medication, I had often been taking it at 9-10pm which was not helping, but now we've worked out a system where she always gives me the next day's tablet, so I can take it earlier. Yesterday I was told by a different social worker to my normal one that "Mirtazapine doesn't give you a rush, you're just so worried about sleep that you think it does, it's in your head" and that I mustn't drink caffeine (I NEVER do) or Red Bull (Well that's got caffeine in, I insisted, I NEVER drink caffeine and typically avoid sugar but was ignored). Ok so this triggered me into feeling stupidly guilty - that this was all my fault and completely unsafe, even though I know that insomnia is on the side-effects list and that many people get a rush on higher doses.
The fact is that this sleep issue is exact to the Mirtazapine, it started when I was first given it in hospital in January. If I skip it one night, I can sleep. I don't even care that much about it, I care more that I've been asking for a psychiatrist appointment to sort out meds since October and I've still got to wait until April. He also told me to wake up at 6 every morning - but if I do that I'll end up incredibly unstable or in hospital and seeing as the Mirtazapine is already leaving me always down and always hopeless, I don't need any extra pushes.
Sorry for all that ranting - I needed it. I feel guilty and bad about my sleep and that people will judge me as being lazy or will tell me I don't need as much as I think I do, but I really do need that much. I just wonder does anyone else find that they need about 11-12 hours or even more a night of sleep (I know it's less after all the wake ups)?