Is A 12 Year Old Capable Of Committing Rape

[Meadowsweet]

Yes someone at 12 can rape. But someone young will generally only do that because they have been damaged by abuse themselves.

However, the 'reason' someone harms others does not diminish or lessen the harm that it does. It doesn't work to think in a way that says it must be either their fault or mine. That's black and white thinking, and abuse is way more complicated than that.

So what matters in healing is not why the abuse occurred, it is the effect that the abuse has had on you.

 

[Kintsugi]

What if an abused child offends and then is horrified at it's affect, and never offends again?

This is actually pretty common. I think it is very forgivable, but both the offender and especially the victim still live their entire lives with the reality that a crime was committed.

 

[Padfoot]

I know how you feel. I'm in my 30s and was raped and attacked with a knife by a 16yo kid. 16 is a lot more mature than 12 and I struggle with that. But you were raped. And that's who did it. I do know how you feel with the struggle though. I keep asking myself if he really knew the severity of what he did. If he is entirely to blame. If the charges are too harsh for his age. But the fact remains that he did what he did, his actions increased in violence with each person he attacked and he tried to kill not only me, but my 10 year old, and almost succeeded with someone else but neighbours heard her scream and went to her house where they caught him. Sometimes children can be dangerous, and that's hard to swallow. You were raped. He raped you. Therefore he is capable of such atrocities.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Do you believe a 12 year old is capable of rape?

The more we know about someone, the more room there is for self doubt. If he was stranger, it may have been easier to accept.
But to answer your question, for me, anyone is capable of rape.

 

[Orglethorp]

Just to add to the discussion on children (especially young ones) being capable of abusing and raping others, my youngest step brother has shown signs of sociopathic behaviour since around kindergarten/grade 1. When he was 6 years old, he told my mother that he wanted to stab someone just to see how it felt. Age 6! Some people are born dangerous.

 

[rightkindofme]

When I was 7 I was raped by an 11 year old. Yes, a child can rape. When I was under 15 I had sexual contact with probably 5 people who can say with full justification that I raped them. At least one of them did publicly talk about me raping him. I agree that it was rape and I am terribly sorry. I didn't know better. That doesn't make it ok. I still hurt him a lot.

I was taught to be a monster. I didn't really fully understand what that meant until I found out that no child in my family has escaped being raped before puberty. It is just how we look at the world.

I don't do that any more. I talk about consent a lot. Yes, people can rape on "accident". I think that a fairly high percentage of rapists doesn't exactly understand what they are doing. They are just trying to handle their own emotional problems.

 

[Kintsugi]

I can't find it for you, but I've been looking. In 2011, someone posted on here about being sexually abused by an adolescent with Down syndrome, and how she still placed blame on him because it was obvious that he knew it was wrong. Just yet another perspective. Wish I could find the post.

 

[71nothing]

Thanks everybody for your input. It's good to not be alone in this and you've all made some really good points.

It's hard because in my head he is a 12 year old boy yet I'm 41 year old woman. It makes me feel as though I should've been the one in control.

I'm guessing that accepting and processing this is another part of this long PTSD road that seems to move both forwards and backwards.

 

[Padfoot]

You're 41 now and looking at it from adult eyes. At the time of this occurring, you were still a child yourself. He'd also now be a 41 year old man.

 

[71nothing]

Good point Padfoot. And that kind of creeps me out!

 

[wicked child]

I'm in my 30s and was raped and attacked with a knife by a 16yo kid. and he tried to kill not only me, but my 10 year old, and almost succeeded with someone else but neighbours heard her scream and went to her house where they caught him.

So sorry you and you family had to be exposed to this. That kid is dangerous. I hold him responsible for the rape, and the threats to kill you, and your 10 year old.

That kid is a rapist and has no conscious.

I hope he is caught and never gets a chance to do anything like this again.

 

[Padfoot]

Wicked child, Thanks, he has been caught which is how I know his age. The police have never seen anyone so young be as violent as he was. He's a danger to himself and society. He was also a victim himself, which doesn't excuse it but it does explain it. He attacked a number of people in a short space of time, but had been stalking my family for at least a year. His age is what I struggle to come to terms with.