I'm not good at grieving. I've never lost anything or anyone really...My dad was in the army my entire raising so I did have to cry through quite a few goodbyes. For a long time, they just got harder and harder, but then I learned how to ....ignore it, maybe?
After three crappy days in a row, today being the third day, I found out that my best friend is moving several states away. I was out with some relatives when I found out, so with much difficulty, I held it in, but I nearly boiled over (with tears).
Is grieving part of accepting ptsd? How do you handle grief? It is part of my culture for the entire family to get together on holidays (what many others would consider a once a year family reunion). He doesn't do crowds and he (who could start a conversation with a mute) withdraws and seems anti-social. I know that might seem trivial to others, but just as I imagined our wedding, I imagined him in these family get-togethers. The holidays aren't really the holidays without all of my extended family.
I think that my family just thinks he's a loser. Can't hold down a job (mostly because of anger, but once he was fired because of his health, only we can't prove it). Isn't always looking for work. I have noticed he seems to be more afraid of rejection and failure than others. From what I read, PTSD can perpetuate other health issues he has.
We have four children and I homeschool. Being with him (this was before realizing he had ptsd--we've been apart in the weeks since) is more tiresome than the four kids and the house together. I can't accept him just sitting on the couch everyday, although I could see how he was just trying to cope and getting help will maybe change that?
If I wasn't bound by my beliefs, I'm not sure I'd stay. His ptsd is SO out of control and so new to me that I am not always able to realize that it is not directed at me. Being with him is exhausting. How am I supposed to be careful to understand and not be or bring triggers and not feel that he is a child? I have struggled with depression and I cannot imagine how infuriating it would be for someone to treat me as if I was a child or even think that way about me.
I feel so alone as a parent and in our marriage. I feel that I've lost him. I've lost him and neither of our families seem to understand that. Mine thinks he's just a bad guy and his thinks I am a wench for "putting him through all this stuff" when he is a three time vet. As if that gave him a cart blanc (sp?).
I guess I should read that ptsd document every couple of days or so. That might help me understand.
After three crappy days in a row, today being the third day, I found out that my best friend is moving several states away. I was out with some relatives when I found out, so with much difficulty, I held it in, but I nearly boiled over (with tears).
Is grieving part of accepting ptsd? How do you handle grief? It is part of my culture for the entire family to get together on holidays (what many others would consider a once a year family reunion). He doesn't do crowds and he (who could start a conversation with a mute) withdraws and seems anti-social. I know that might seem trivial to others, but just as I imagined our wedding, I imagined him in these family get-togethers. The holidays aren't really the holidays without all of my extended family.
I think that my family just thinks he's a loser. Can't hold down a job (mostly because of anger, but once he was fired because of his health, only we can't prove it). Isn't always looking for work. I have noticed he seems to be more afraid of rejection and failure than others. From what I read, PTSD can perpetuate other health issues he has.
We have four children and I homeschool. Being with him (this was before realizing he had ptsd--we've been apart in the weeks since) is more tiresome than the four kids and the house together. I can't accept him just sitting on the couch everyday, although I could see how he was just trying to cope and getting help will maybe change that?
If I wasn't bound by my beliefs, I'm not sure I'd stay. His ptsd is SO out of control and so new to me that I am not always able to realize that it is not directed at me. Being with him is exhausting. How am I supposed to be careful to understand and not be or bring triggers and not feel that he is a child? I have struggled with depression and I cannot imagine how infuriating it would be for someone to treat me as if I was a child or even think that way about me.
I feel so alone as a parent and in our marriage. I feel that I've lost him. I've lost him and neither of our families seem to understand that. Mine thinks he's just a bad guy and his thinks I am a wench for "putting him through all this stuff" when he is a three time vet. As if that gave him a cart blanc (sp?).
I guess I should read that ptsd document every couple of days or so. That might help me understand.
