Is Having PTSD Traumatic?

[Irton Pike]

In my case, the expression of PTSD symptoms in a working environment, has led to me being attacked (i.e. bullied, both verbally and eventually physically) for the symptoms, which made my situation far worse than if i had been left alone. In both cases, ?I didn't take any time off work, and looking back that was really silly, as it left me open to abuse and didn't give my mind time to come to terms with the trauma.

 

[Mercy]

Yes, PTSD can be retraumatizing. I'm in my 50's and feel as though each full flashback , and there a great many, is just as bad as it ever was. It feels like self-sabotage, as if I've become my own internal perp. The perps are still in control during high anxteiy and panic times(often).

I think the key to breaking this cycle is dismantling each piece of a specific trigger. Taking on the one that is the most pressing at the moment. I'm filled with terror and big time survivor guilt in the fall. I have to limit my exposure to the changing leaves at times just to get through a day, a very exhausting day.

I think trauma therapy and meds are slowly helping me confront that trauma and retrain my thinking. I understand that my memories are from the child of 7 or 8's perspective when this terrible thing happened. I need to try to see her compassionately. Survivor guilt is so strong and the terror so high that I also think sometimes I just can't bear the pain any more. It is way too much......but I know this too will pass, that winter is coming and I will get some relief. But next fall try as I do, the terror still lurks and stalks me.

 

[pandora]

Eextremely awful and retraumatizing. You usually have to change your entire you life as you know it. I went from a confident successful woman that makes, bad desions at times better ones at least with my son to the best of my abiltiy now but I lost my sense of esteem, feeling good helping others ( damn..now I am afraid of people) I used to go into strangers homes everyday in my last job and was able to teach before that .....In front of 48 students, I even had a assistant. Now here I am a portion me the me that I have to learn to love and respect . We have to totally change every aspect of our lifes, for me it did, especially in keeping relationships male or female. It is very traumatizing...IMO. BUT..there are ways to live with it it takes hard work..but in the end it is worth it. One minute...one step and sometimes even one minute and breathe at a time.

 

[Salu]

You´re making a lot of sense. Like neverending story...

 

[pandora]

Thanx Salu...Nice to hear the positive comment...I am glad Iam making sense of this..it has been and is a long journey!

 

[Cloud]

I think having PTSD is trauumatic, at least for me it is even if you're able to control your PTSD to some degree, the overwelhming emotions of isolation, despair and especially when you have no one to turn to for human companionship like myself can be even more frustrating.

I'm stuck in a vicious cycle where as a PTSD patient you'll heal faster if you have at one or two people you can trust and hang-out with. I, however don't have that kind of luxuary but I know many others are probably in the similar situation as me.....with no one you can rely on is very devetating for me as I walk on this path alone.

I feel so alone in this scary world


Cloud