Nope, this is one more thing in your life that's been touched by your trauma.At the end of the day regardless of what anyone says, this falls on me :-(
No ten year olds or even twelve year olds, first of all, should ever be expected to defend themselves in a life-threatening situation. Which, make no mistake, is exactly what your abuse was.It may have happened between the ages of 10-12 but by that stage I was developed enough to know this was bad and wrong and still did nothing.
Second of all, it's more likely that instead of realizing the situation was bad and wrong, you thought you were bad and wrong. Which is exactly how we'd expect a 10- or 12-year-old who's being abused to react.
You were not, and are not, bad and wrong. You were in a horrible, life-threatening situation. You are not to blame.