is it obvious to other people when i am in a dissociative state?

[hope4us]

can people usually tell when someone else is dissociated? is it a pretty obvious thing? sometimes i wonder if my voice and personality has change. how would people be able to tell if someone else is dissociating?

 

[HannaD]

I would guess it depends how disassociated the state is. If the world just feels unreal but, you're aware of it and can still function then probably not if they don't know you very well. In this state I'll catch myself wondering if I'm really in a coma or a figment of another persons coma.
If you're floating off from you're body or in a trance it could look like you're spaced out or day dreaming. Mid conversation might be noticed.

 

[somerandomguy]

Maybe, maybe not. Some of us act absolutely normal all the time. Others of us check out entirely.

You'd have to ask someone IRL you trust.

 

[grit]

It really depends on how functional you are. I was just posting another thread about it. I never knew I was until I went to therapy and even the therapists could not tell which annoyed me cause in therapy I thought I was impaired for sure.
If you read the book haunted self it explains very well how this can happen and you do not have to have dissassoictive personality. It is a spectrum on Continuum.

 

[Ronin]

It depends both on how your dissociation works, and how observant they are.

Some of this stuff is totally normal (dreams of any variety, attention lapses when tired or thinking of something else, drowsiness, sleepiness, nothing going on just not paying attention, etc) so entirely a matter of degree.

 

[hithere]

people call my spacey, absent-minded professor, ask me all the time, hey are you ok? you're seem like someone else, where did you go? what's wrong? Sometimes it's so bad I think I seem like I have alzheimers, I'll be asking "where's that book I had, where's that book,?" and people will say, "in your hand, space head" and sure enough whatever it is I lost was actually still in my hand. all. the. time.

 

[SweetPainfulLoving]

I agree that, in some cases/people, it would all depend on how observant they are and how well the other person knows the sufferer.
It was always clear to me when my sufferer dissociated, but I can tell you no one else had a clue. I wanted to keep it light but also acknowledge that I was aware that he ‘disappeared’ for a bit and so I would always say ‘welcome back’ and make some type of contact. Even when we were out in public or with other people they couldn’t tell and no one ever picked up on our ‘code’.
Everyone is different but I know it made a difference for him and he always appreciated that.

 

[frogthroat]

There's only one person in my circle that knows when I'm dissociating and they're not even family. It's somebody who has severe issues with anxiety (and I'm guessing trauma although Idk yet). He'll hold my hand, talk to me, or wrap his arms around me until I start to come out of it. I appreciate that but I'm also glad not everyone can tell. It's not something most people pick up on.
I'm really not sure how he even knows but I guess it's probably because he's gotten to know me a little bit over a couple of years.
People are thinking about themselves most of the time. Nobody is judging you and picking your actions/moods apart and that's a good thing.

 

[hope4us]

whenever i have an episode of dissociation i always try to figure out what triggered it, i think about what i might have perceived as a potential threat right before the dissociation started. some of the things that i thought might have been the trigger do not relate to my trauma though. is it still possible that it could have been the trigger? or does the trigger always have to be related to my personal trauma? or is it possible that it did relate to my trauma somehow but i have no memory of it?

 

[hope4us]

I feel like i notice i'm doing it more frequently lately. does that mean i'm getting worse? and the next day after i've come back to my normal state of mind, if i try to remember certain things that happened while i was dissociated, sometimes i cant remember, or its very hard to remember. is it normal to have problems with memory from when you were dissociated?

 

[MrMoonlight]

I think it is common to have difficulty with memory particularly when dissociated. Have you been triggered or had more stressors in your life recently?

 

[Justmehere]

@Friday posted some great information in response to another thread of yours (are emotional/implicit flashbacks always suppressed memories?) in regards to triggers, symptoms, and the relationship to specific traumatic events:

Sometimes those are in response to triggers or stressors ( if you haven’t read this, yet? Do! Stressor vs. Trigger - What Is A Trigger? ), and sometimes they’re in response to stress (ditto, The ptsd cup explanation), and sometimes they just strike out of a clear blue sky, or just because I was thinking about something.