Relationship Is It Really Me Or His Ptsd?

[exhausted 81]

Thank you all for your replies. He has decided to move out and give us a break. Not exactly what I wanted but it's for the best.

 

[mamachick]

I was in a relationship with a guy with some drama (not ptsd). He had lied about some things. After a year and a half, we saw a counselor together. He lied about what he use to do for a living years before. I told the therapist this. She asked why he lied and he said because he is insecure because I have a masters degree. She said she understood that he was insecure, but not all people that are insecure lie.

Then she turned to me and said, you have only been in this relationship a short time and have no kids together or a home, why do yo feel the need to stay with someone who will lie to you when they feel insecure. I think I said something like-beause I love him and want this to work. She asked if I ever feel insecure and I assured her that I did. She asked if I made up stories when I felt insecure. I responded that I had not.

I have ptsd. He does not. I reflected on this therapy session. The T was so matter of fact. One and a half years is not a long time. I have wasted more on other men. I feel a bit defective having ptsd, so I am willing to accept bad behavior to what extent? I came away asking myself-how is his behavior and our relationship going to enhance my life. The answer-it won't. If it has not enhanced my life after a year, why would I think it will one day. Oh there were many good things about him. If you also suffer a mental illness, all the more reason to seek out someone more healthy. Mentally ill people are less capable of surviving struggles related to mind games, second guessing, etc. You deserve better.