Childhood Is it traumatic having a seriously ill parent?

[Marvel545]

My Mom had severe Rheumatoid Arthritis which she was diagnosed with at 17. She had me at 27 & it went from bad to extremely severe.

She had 3 ankle replacements, 3 hip replacements, 3 knee replacement & a neck fusion whilst I was alive. I spent a lot of time in the hospital visitng her when I was young, I can't remember seeing her ill but I must have done. She was waiting for a heart operation but she suddenly died at home, which I heard from my bedroom. I would say that's my main trauma.

That's overshadowed everything for me, I'm wondering if seeing my Mom I'll pretty much constantly is part of it all as well.

Does anyone have similar experience or insight?

 

[LilyRose]

It's hard to watch for sure.
My dad was sick from around the time my mom was pregnant with me until he died 2 weeks before my 4th birthday. I can't remember anything, but a lot of emergencies happened in that time. After that my mom was very depressed up to being psychotic and suicidal that caused problems. A lot happened. She also later, when i was a teen had cancer and other health issues which caused her to be in the hospital for surgeries and treatment a lot.
It's not where my ptsd comes from, but it's still on my mind.

 

[Marvel545]

It's hard to watch for sure.
My dad was sick from around the time my mom was pregnant with me until h...

Sorry to hear you went through that!

I think the same, probably not where PTSD comes from, but it is an unresolved issue.

 

[Swift]

I'd say it falls under the category of "developmental trauma"...
Or little-t trauma.
Severn Fisher's book on developmental trauma is excellent.
But yeah, this stuff actually adds up and changes your brain as a kid, so I'd go with that.

 

[Marvel545]

I'll definitely put that one on the list of ones to read @Swift, is it Calming the fear driven brain?

I'm coming to the conclusion that my life from 0-16 was a bit of a sh*t show of trauma pretty constantly on some level. I think I've let the big T trauma overshadow all the little-t trauma thats gone on!

 

[Swift]

Yeah. It was definitely worth a read.
Little t traumas often set the stage for bigger ones.

 

[LilyRose]

so it doesn't have to be the cause of ptsd?

Damn i want to explain what i mean but i can't find the words...

 

[Swift]

Put simply... Things can be traumatic without causing PTSD symptoms. The idea of "developmental trauma" as a classification is that little t traumas add up and have effects on your brain and personality, even if they don't cause classical PTSD symptoms like flashbacks and nightmares.

 

[LilyRose]

Yes that.
I mean, maybe there were incidents that could have caused ptsd, but i didn't have any symptoms until other stuff happened.
It has just been adding up to it maybe.

thanks @Swift

 

[Mr Man]

My Mom had severe Rheumatoid Arthritis which she was diagnosed with at 17. She had me at 27 & it went...

Developmental trauma is also called Complex PTSD and often referred to as Childhood PTSD , as that is the most common time for it to occur. CPTSD is very different to PTSD, in that it comes about from daily humiliation of a captive. So hostage victims get this, but also children who were regularly abused. The daily abuse may be subtle, but its the accumulative effect, the drip, drip effect, that causes this. This is most common among children with parents with a personality disorder, such as BPD or NPD, or parents with drug addictions. You need to be captive and powerless, hence why childhood is the most likely time for this to occur. Trump & Jimmy Savil are considered to have NPD, for example.

If you have CPTSD, the triggers relate back to the behaviour that made you ill in the first place. So Tiffany Trump may well get triggered by the term "False news" and Trump is triggered by the term "Teeny weeny fingers" for example.

That said, an ill parent may place a child in a long term stressful situation, which can cause a range of mental health issues among children. Does any of this help ?

 

[Marvel545]

Developmental trauma is also called Complex PTSD and often referred to as Childhood PTSD , as that is th...

It does help massively. I bought Pete Walkers book on cPTSD & so much of it resonated with me. I think I went through a lot & I'm seeing how my family act.

I'm beginning to think there are things in my childhood I don't know. I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I probably have like 5 memories of my life up to age 11.

 

[Sideways]

Developmental trauma is also called Complex PTSD

Nope. Repeated exposure to trauma in the developmental years can be one form of complex PTSD. But Complex PTSD, which is more like a working theory and not an actual diagnosis, is generally considered to be the consequence of long term exposure to severe trauma, with the underlying requirement that the person have PTSD from a criteria A trauma.

NPD and BPD, while they may explain the reasons behind complex PTSD for a small percentage of sufferers, those 2 disorders actually have nothing to do with a complex PTSD diagnosis. Like any mental health condition, complex PTSD is about the sufferers pathology, not their abusers.

There’s a whole lot of misinformation about complex PTSD going around. For clarification? There’s a great article on this site that explains the difference between PTSD and Complex PTSD.