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I feel like being in control of things for me is because there are so many things I can't control. Things like nightmares, triggers, anxiety, flashbacks, and family members. So whatever I can control I do because I feel so out of control.
Trust and control are such hot buttons for myself. I trusted someone, gave up control of certain things to them and almost lost my life when they betrayed me. Now, I can't separate the two. I don't trust more than a few people currently in my life, and even those I'll never let control anything that touches the deepest parts of me that I hold on to. Ever.