Is My T Trying To Get Rid Of Me?

[BlueOrange]

I'm seeing a therapist because one of my children died a few years ago.

Also more recently a close family member i...

OK, but still, the facts of the events in your life are not, in themselves, reasons to go to a therapist. It's like going to a doctor because you were outside all day yesterday when it was raining really hard. Yes, you might have caught a cold. Or you might not. The reason to go to a doctor is because your body isn't functioning 100%, not because of yesterday's rain.

Now, if people in your life are telling you, "You should get some therapy because of your child's death" then they might be doing that because they don't feel your behaviour is appropriate to your circumstances, and they want the therapist to do the heavy lifting. Alternatively, they think that a therapist can do some kind of preventative medicine on you.

Therapy is not preventative medicine. For mental health, the best preventative medicines are:
Exercise
Spending time with friends and family (assuming you get along with your family & your friends are non-toxic)
Getting enough sleep (see exercise)
Doing something that feels meaningful (whatever that is for you)

Therapy for PTSD is painful as all hell, and if it finishes in a few months, you've come out of it pretty simply. Think along the lines of 'breaking the bone again and realigning it so that it can set properly'. I've been in therapy for DID for 14 years now. I've come a long way, but therapy itself has been painful. And it's been worth it, I'm able to maintain positive relationships in a way that was impossible for me 14 years ago, and I don't try to hurt myself anymore, and I can't remember the last time I considered killing myself. (The last time I considered injuring myself was last year. I think it's 7 years since suicidal impulses; I'm delighted to be uncertain about this.)

So, it turns out that you have some very painful memories that got activated while you were attempting to talk through your grief about your child. The very real question is whether you should dig that up and work on it.

Do you feel out of control in your behaviour, and end up doing things that you didn't feel you wanted to do?
Are you losing your temper and behaving inappropriately?
Are you disabled by overwhelming emotions in situations that are common in your life?

Are you able to hold down a job?
Do you have genuine friends (people who you enjoy seeing, without feeling like you have to trade with them to justify seeing them)?
Do you eat, sleep, clean yourself and your home, and maintain your body and mind?

Take those questions and your answers to your therapist and ask, "What should I expect if I continue therapy? Is it in my interests to just leave this stuff alone?"

 

[Dashboard]

Thanks everyone for your replies. Unfortunately I am not able to discuss any of these things with my therapist because she is no longer my therapist. So there is no chance for me to debrief with her or work through what might have been going on and why this has all ended so weirdly and abruptly or why she seemed to suddenly not want to work with me after promising over and over again she was in it for the long haul.

In terms of losing my child this wasn't what set off the dissociation/flashbacks etc. it was related to my terminally ill family member and being asked questions about my childhood that set it all off. But yes, if I can get a handle on these symptoms and get back to my normal level of functioning then maybe it's best just left alone.

Anyway, I'll find the right path for myself. It hurts so much lose this therapist, especially out of the blue and in such an awkward confusing way. But I've had a lot of practice with loss and rejection in my life and on one level it's just grist for the mill. I'm used to this feeling.

I no longer have contact with half of my family due to their abusive behaviour so if I can get through that I can survive this too.

Thanks for all the comments it's been really great to feel supported at the moment.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Been seeing my t for almost 4 years and in the last two sessions I've finally come around to acknowledging that I ha...

Yeah, that would suck, when money matters get in the way. That is so tough on patients, not sure how most psychiatrist handle that, but I would think that understanding should be possible, however they have to make a living too.

As long as the prices are not outrageous, but with insurance changes just around the corner that is most likely going to wreck havoc all over again.