Is she sick of seeing me?

[Stephernovas]

Does anyone ever get this feeling? I was attending one of my appointments today (not my therapist, but someone else helping in the recovery process that I feel is essential at this point in time), and I don't know if she was just quiet today or what but I interpreted it as her being sick of treating me. I don't know if it's my expectations that I need to adjust, but I left feeling so sad because I believed that her quietness was her being/becoming annoyed with me and my problems. It honestly crushes me because it's not like I want to be in this situation. Everyone seems to pull most of my problems back down to the PTSD. I mean yes, I have extreme anxiety responses that I can't always control, but why do I feel lesser than when dealing with my other injuries/symptoms. I feel like if I tore a ligament while playing a sport that it would be more acceptable than what happened to me and the style/type/amount of support I need. I just feel like I'm a complete annoyance to people who have other more important things to attend to..people with real problems that should take priority.

I know this is terrible thinking and there are threads of other deeply rooted negative thoughts where my 'wiring is all messed up', but I'm just so sad and crummy about it I don't even know where or how to begin challenging my thoughts.

 

[Ronin]

I doubt she is annoyed with you.

Can you ask her about what is going on when she goes quiet? Silence is a lot of things, for a lot of people.

Sorry for your sadness. You are not an annoyance, promise.

 

[EveHarrington]

Isn’t it much more likely that she was having a bad day and it had nothing to do with you?

 

[Stephernovas]

Isn’t it much more likely that she was having a bad day and it had nothing to do with you?[/QUO...

I have a terrible record running in my mind about how she’s unfriendly with me (sometimes) and she’s super pumped to see other (easier) patients. Doesn’t help that the person after me was a young woman she hadn’t seen in a while and it was like they were having a nice little catch up. She then went to get her phone and I assumed they were exchanging numbers.

I know this is crazy talk. But that is what my brain likes to jump to right away

 

[Emotional girl]

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone with having these types of thoughts.
I often have conversations with my T about how I think he is fed up with me or he wants to get rid of me but he will always tell me that he is not feeling that way.
I think if you have low self esteem,anxiety,negative thought and maybe a fear of abandonment then you will read things the wrong way sometimes.
This is probably a good opportunity for you to discuss the way you felt and how it affected you and maybe work through those issues.

 

[hithere]

Yes I think this way often. when it's with the therapist I just blurt out what I'm thinking, I think you are bored of me! I know for me it directly related to abuses and rejections... still in that moment it seems so real, so I have to ask. my therapist is honest with me about 80 percent of the time, so, I just believe the therapist answer that they are not bored of me. As for other type of interactions, I can't ask that question because it is socially unacceptable. I will just have the opposite effect by asking if they are tired of seeing me. So that's a problem. can you bring the topic up in therapy, it might be a good place to discuss why all the rejection feelings, and what are more helpful and realistic ways to view the situation. Maybe she doesn't like you and is tired of you. If that were true how would you handle that?

 

[Stephernovas]

Yes I think this way often. when it's with the therapist I just blurt out what I'm thinking, I think yo...

#avoidance lol

 

[Skywatcher]

I feel this way all the time. I read into my own clients as well. I will convince myself that they will head off to another company just because they become quiet in the meeting. I have some core people in my social circle that I have known for over 15 years. Those are the only people that I don’t get this from.

 

[Justmehere]

All this attempted mind reading is leaving you pretty miserable (I do it at times too, no judgement here)... maybe it’s time to let people think their own thoughts and ask this treating professional what they are actually thinking?

 

[Stephernovas]

All this attempted mind reading is leaving you pretty miserable (I do it at times too, no judgement...

I’m good. I know these are irrational thoughts