Relationship Is There Someone Out There Whose Spouse Does Not Isolate/has A Temper?

[Never_falter2]

First of all I am laying in bed with the flue and maybe some of the things I write today make no sense.

My suffer does not really isolate. He does not physically isolate. He works a lot and he does not like to discuss how he is doing but he does not isolate.
He does not have a bad temper, most of the times he is pretty calm. In the past he sometimes got overly demanding and complained about little things but he has never lost it.

I think our relationship is pretty good. Not a fairytale but pretty good.

Actually I have in the past questioned the diagnosis in the past and now I do it again because it does not seem to fit. I did some reading today again and what many of you wrote about your relationships was just very different from mine.

There is basically some things he avoids or used to avoid but that's it. Can avoidance alone be PTSD?

 

[One step at a time]

I do not allow my internal experience to hurt other people. There are many people close to me who have no idea I have PTSD. While the only symptom you are seeing is avoidance, he may be experiencing other symptoms that do not present themselves in visible ways in front of you. While avoidance, alone, is not enough for a PTSD diagnosis, he can still have PTSD.

I am glad you enjoy your relationship, and I hope it continues to be good for you.

 

[Never_falter2]

Is it like that with you?

 

[One step at a time]

I'm not sure I understand your question...

I do not really avoid things, to my knowledge. (1) My main, externally visible symptom is periods of isolation, which are increasingly rare and at most last 2-3 days. (2) A few people that I feel safe with know I have a chronic illness. Certain professors (because of my accommodations letter) and two people in my personal life know I have PTSD. (3) Sometimes I show up visibly dissociated - a flat affect and lack of engagement, explained with "tired/having a rough time/flare-up of chronic illness."

Internally, or when I am alone, I have anger and fear and flashbacks and other things. In total, three people have any awareness of the distress I experience. So yes, my internal experience is very different from what is visible.

 

[Sweetpea76]

It's just one of those "everybody is different" things.

Lashing out and isolating aren't symptoms, they're reactions to symptoms. Maybe he reacts in different ways to his stress?

 

[Never_falter2]

Sorry I got you wrong @One step at a time. Thanks for explaining!

 

[Never_falter2]

It's complicated @Sweetpea76 because he is not totally healthy but also mostly healthy. He does not do a lot of things people with PTSD "are supposed to do" and I don't know what expectations I can have of him, you know, how much can I ask of him?
If he opts out of something is it because he canno do it or is he just lazy?

 

[joeylittle]

If he opts out of something is it because he canno do it or is he just lazy?

Have you asked him?

PTSD isn't cured, but the symptoms become manageable. Some symptoms, more manageable than others. Sometimes, a PTSD sufferer will err on the side of caution, whether it's out of habit, or whether it's the best idea. You are doubting his diagnosis, but he might just be coping pretty well right now.

 

[Never_falter2]

He is a guy who likes to exercise self-discipline and he used to down play how he is feeling about something so I never can be sure how excactly he is feeling.
It may sound out but I do not discuss his PTSD very much with him because he just goes "gnuff... grmpf... however".