Can you tell him you’re taking your mom’s things over to your dad’s so you guys can sort/organize them as a family? Perhaps that can get some of your sentimental items out of the house?
Thanks for this suggestion, my mum and dad weren't together, but maybe I can think of something similar. It's just the logistics, if he goes out he'll have the car so I won't be able to take anything anywhere. I'll probably have to talk to a friend or my dad somehow ahead of time and see if I can get them to come pick some things up if he goes out again sometime. Ugh, it feels so complicated. I think I have to stop thinking about all of the steps, and just think about the first couple at first. I keep getting overwhelmed by all of the details. I'm sure he'll feed the rabbits but I don't think he'll give the sick one her meds :( He has such a hangup about meds he gets angry at me if I accidentally leave them out on the bench even though they're for the rabbit.
Everything is replaceable but you. Can you squirrel some money away, just for you, without him knowing?
This part is actually ok, I have money because I'm good with it and I've always kept an 'untouchable' buffer because I wasn't prepared to go broke over all of this. I'm most worried about losing my mum's clothes, and old photos and things because those aren't replaceable. I know they're less important than me, but I'm still devastated from losing her and would be devastated if I lost them. I have her ashes too so I'd need to take her with me.
[The bunnies] are better off with you safe and able to get them later than you being harmed.
Thank you for this, it's a valid point. I really don't want the sick one to just die without her meds though, so I'll see what I can figure out ahead of time while I'm planning.
He's not stable enough right now to be able to handle the kind of conversation you want to have about his PTSD symptoms.
Man, it's such a rollercoaster. He's very smart, lucid, reflective and insightful about what's happening when he's de-escalated, but when he's escalated I know this is true. I think that's part of the reason his psychologists have not been that helpful and have thought he was better/doing fine enough to reduce his appointments. He's very articulate as well, so I feel like they're probably just as easily fooled into thinking he's largely not a person in deep crisis, just having a few issues, because of how well he seems when he's well. And they never see his meltdowns of course. I have been surprised that they eased off on treatment, but then I don't know for sure what he tells them, so yeah.
Taking a bit of untangling in my mind. I've read a lot of other people's posts on forums like these over the years looking for clues, but I'm so glad I decided to post my actual situation this time and get direct feedback from you guys.