Is This Enough Trauma For Ptsd?

[helpmeASAP]

Will be brief. Straight mfm. First time. With black man joining white couple, also apparently lots of experience with mfm threesomes and first times. Started fine and then new male started being dominant and controlling the situation pulling her around. I tried to have sex with her for a while but could not get my penis into her as she kept moving away. Eventually got frustrated and pretended i hurt my penis a bit and got them to stop. In the bathroom I told my gf this was not the case and I was not having fun at all. I wanted to stop but was told by both to come try again. I did not want to but felt so much pressure. Tried a few more times and was like a nightmare. I was mouthing to her for a while I HATE THIS PLEASE STOP and was ignored. At one point i was under her and speaking to her saying please please stop I hate this I hate this I hate this and crying and she just looked at me so angry and then her head was on my stomach as she was being f*cked and she was moaning while i felt like my life was ending. THis was the final straw for me and I left them alone and went to the bathroom. They continued even after I convinced her to come to the bathroom from the doorway a few times she was just cruel to me and kept going back to him. I was in shock (still am). I then directly asked numerous times them both to stop. Also he 100% knew early on that i wanted it to end and would say things like dont put pressure on her and she wants this and she would just smile at him. Eventually I had enough and came out of the bathroom. They were doing something hidden out of the bedroom and when i came around corner stopped whatever it was and he quickly said its cool man its cool man. I said ive asked at least 5 times to stop thats enough now and it pretty much finished there when she said I dont think hes having fun sorry. She actually apologised to him. She then pretty much went to sleep on the bed as he got dressed and left while saying I thought you were cool to my girlfriend directly and looking pissed off. There was a camera with not great angle but that captured parts of it and he asked for this to be deleted before he left. I just was in shock and yeah he left then ignoring me and saying thanks to her and hugging her. We have a two year old child. I dont know what to do. Suicide? Leave her and never see my son and also an extra note this is my DREAM girl my soul mate I love her so so much its unbearable and 100% dont think about other women I only want her and her to be happy and have fun was the idea. What happened I feel has traumatised me so much I need to die or help. Please tell me am I overreacting??I am a social worker and strongly feel I have PTSD after this. The day after I freaked out in the park shaking and couldnt move and then was hyperventilating and felt like I was not a person and had to lie in feotal position rocking to feel comfortable. I still feel most comfortable rocking and every little thing gives me a fright and I need help! Does this sound like enough to cause PTSD????

 

[joeylittle]

@helpmeASAP - you are having a very intense emotional response to a situation.

Long-term, there's a big conversation you and your girlfriend need to have about the future, the relationship, whether you want to be monogamous or not, etc.

Short term - no, suicide is not the answer.

How long ago was this?

 

[Stickler]

I would suggest going to an a & e for a short respite.
You sound like you might do something rash and bad in the next few hours and you need minded for just a bit.
Not long, but you will need it for a couple of days or so.

I don't want you harming yourself, hon.

 

[anthony]

I am a social worker and strongly feel I have PTSD after this.

PTSD from having a threesome? No. You do not meet the criterion.

 

[EveHarrington]

Agreed, a threesome that didn't go exactly as you planned------with nobody forced to do anything they didn't want to do-------isn't enough to cause PTSD. I can see where it's emotionally upsetting to you, so please get professional help.

 

[Friday]

Bad sex isn't rape.

Spoiler: XTRA

You were in complete control over what you were doing at all times. You wanted to try different things, you tried different things. You wanted to stop, you stopped. What you couldn't control were what other people were doing, which was also clearly not rape, but very consensual. Which sounds like the crux of the issue. They were enjoying themselves while you were not.

Feeling left out, betrayed, not listened to, unimportant, jealous, angry, sad, hurt... But not raped, and neither you nor your wife were in any life threatening danger. If you had been raped, or you had watched your wife being raped, you would be feeling very different right now... Unless youve been raped in the past and this stressor has triggered that. It's a very different set of issues. Jealousy & betrayal hurt like a motherf*cker, but they don't hurt in the same way, and they f*ck you up differently. Which mean you will need different solutions & different treatments than if you &/or your wife had been raped.

What this is closest to, is probably infidelity. Although it's not exactly that, either, as the three of you went into this consensually. But just to get something of a comparison going... PTSD is a lifelong disorder caused by life threatening events & rape; the severest symptoms that hit some people in infidelity, meanwhile? Unlike PTSD they have a very definite time arc. They tend to last 2-5 years at most. For many -if not most- people, it's weeks/months. And those are just the comparative timelines. Lifelong vs 2-5 years. Once you get into treatment modalities? Even more differences. Different disorders and conditions need different treatment.

Being suicidal? Being depressed? Severe distress? Is enough. Not for PTSD. But to go to the ER / ED / A&E... To get emergency treatment for that.

 

[The Albatross]

I already put this dude on ignore.

 

[Elevatorguy]

Get a new gf

 

[Gs172003]

For one it has to have happened at least a month ago. For two, it think you felt upset and betrayed but not traumatized. Three, it's time to give up multiple partners. For sure.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

This, this is wanting to wear PTSD like a merit badge, in my opinion.

You are clearly depressed, though in that story, suicide seemed to come out of nowhere. Im scratching my head here.

Go to a therapist!

But no, its not PTSD!

 

[joeylittle]

OP was clearly trolling. I'm going to go ahead and lock this.