Relationship Is This Ptsd?

[Glara]

So as I wrote earlier he hasn't really texted me in 2 weeks. Last Sat he commented on my Facebook post that he was sick. I texted him feel better and good night and he didn't answer. He didn't answer the text a few days prior either. So I decided it's best not to text anymore.

All week I've been wondering if he's sick, or just isolating and depressed. Today, a few hours ago he posted as his status some pics and a comment about his truck and the work he did on it. I was worried that was sick and in a deep depression. I guess I'm asking when someone is depressed and isolating, is that the type of thing they do?

I don't want to block or unfriend him but it's hard to understand that he can be so depressed that he can't answer a text, but he can do that kind of work and post pics. I guess I should set it up that his posts don't come up in my phone. I really don't know how to react.

 

[J.L. Pitts]

Actually, if he is doing positive things like fixing up his truck and is commenting about it that just doesn't fit depression or isolation. Isolating he would not ever post and would not go outside. Depression would keep him from starting or finishing the task of fixing the truck. He is active and still posting those are good signs. Maybe he is just not ready to share his story with anyone, but no that by no means is PTSD

 

[Glara]

Good signs that he is doing better, bad signs for our "relationship". That's what I was thinking. So basically he's just done with me and not telling me.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Not necessarily. You could maybe comment on his pictures of his truck on Facebook that he is doing really well fixing them. Maybe he just needed some timeout. Don't see how him not replying to your emails means he is done with you. You just have to wait and see. If not replying to every email you send him is a deal breaker then block him and move on.

 

[ekane]

Don't ever keep interest in anyone who doesn't text you for 2 weeks under any circumstances... unless they literally are hospitalized due to a severe accident, or are traveling overseas and can't afford the international rates for texting. That is not a real "relationship" at all. Not even a real friendship.

 

[Glara]

@Lizio it's not a matter of being a deal breaker. If he needs space that's fine. The problem is he was talking suicidal and deep depression. It just seems contradictory.

 

[Glara]

@ekane that's what it seems like to me, but so many people on here talk about how their sufferers withdraw from them but maintain other relationships. It's hard to know what to think, but the more time that passes the more I think I'm a fool.

 

[J.L. Pitts]

I learned the hard way "Never make someone a priority that thinks of you as an option.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Sorry you didn't mention he was telling you he was suicidal. That seems to be a huge burden to put on you. Is this a new relationship? Is he seeing a therapist or on meds? If this is a new relationship not sure he should be putting all of that on you.

 

[Justmehere]

You are not a fool. You are chasing someone who is abandoning you. I've done that, so have a lot of other people...

As for his behavior, it could be attachment related, rather than depression. It could also be that he is just an ass. if it is PTSD related, it is NOT good for him for you to excuse such behavior towards you. Don't enable him staying stuck.

Stand up for yourself. Demand better. If he can't do that, walk away. For good. Let him go in your heart, not just on facebook. But I know this is easy to say, very hard to do...

 

[Glara]

@Lizio it's been going on since march, but we dated in our 20s. We are in our 50s now. We've been friends on Facebook for 7 years, had a few serious chats, but were both with other people. That changed about 3 years ago for him and about a year ago for me. So I guess it's a new old relationship. When we were young it was on and off because he lived far away and didn't have a car. Now I think he had ptsd back then but didn't know it. He was hot and cold then too. I just assumed it was the distance. He was always special to me, but I was 20, there were plenty of other people to date.

He is in therapy, has been for years, not on meds. He also collects guns. In oct he texted he was going to use one of them to end it, but changed his mind. I got that text in the middle of the work day. Yes it's a burden.

He just now texted me and said Hi. I haven't answered yet. Not sure I'm ready too. Have to figure out what I want to say. I will answer because I would never ignore him, but I may tell him I was sleeping. He knows I go to bed early. This is the first time he texted me in 2 weeks.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Hmm there are definitely worrying signs there. That must have been terrifying getting that text. Did he tell you in the text he had changed his mind or do that afterwards? Does sound like he is using you when it is convenient and the suicide text thing is scary. He should be dealing with that with his therapist. That is a huge burden on you and really could lead to bringing you down.