Is this really ptsd?

[Dolphin Lady]

I am waiting for assessment next week over the telephone to see if I can access some more help to manage my symptoms so that I can work. I have a deep painful sadness in my heart all the time which is worse some days than others and today it is bad. It is almost like grief? The same pain and it just wont shift no matter what I do to try to make it less.
I hope and pray that I can have some more therapy to help me deal with this. I dont know if I want or need EMDR or if I need CBT? I feel a great need to talk to someone about my feelings and guilt and sadness... I want to take out my heart and give it a hug!

 

[Friday]

I dont know if I want or need EMDR or if I need CBT? I feel a great need to talk to someone about my feelings and guilt and sadness...

This shouts that CBT would be invaluable to you, but in an ideal world I'd say "both".

Cognitive distortion forms the backbone of PTSD. Whether you know it or not, all moods and behavioral patterns originate from your cognitions– your thoughts. The first thing that happens is a thought, and then a mood or behavior occurs

Primary Cognitive Distortions (negative Thinking Styles) ^^^ Excerpt

More reading for you
Solving The Problem: Reframing Negative Thoughts
Negative Thinking Styles Part II: Reframing Negative Thoughts

 

[Dolphin Lady]

Thank you, this is really helpful..

 

[Blue Sky]

I had the opportunity to experience EMDR and it was very beneficial. I still think I should try it again. I noticed that emotions were stronger and more memories came back after that. It took some time for things to settle back. I wondered if it was good to unleash all those memories I had locked away. Ultimately it is good for me to but know that the flood gates seem to open. My therapist told me to be kind and gentle with myself by not expecting me never to have PTSD. I have also learned that what I know about myself and the traits of PTSD have taught me about myself and helped me be a better observer of other people's behavior. Be gentle with yourself and breathe deeply. You are loved.

 

[bento]

Maybe it makes more sense to think of it as going into remission, which can kinda feel
like a cure, but definitely isn't the same. EMDR and CBT are great (that's what I've found
works best, along with good self-care) but there is also something to be said for simply
grieving our losses too. Sometimes it's ok to just feel sad for awhile

 

[Freida]

Sometimes it's ok to just feel sad for awhile

The one thing I don't want to do - but I know I need to

 

[Dolphin Lady]

Thank you, I am feeling very sad today, really achingly sad... Been for a walk but cant shift the ache in my heart... cried but still no relief. Today is a sad day and that is ok.

 

[Dana1010]

Caveat: I only read through the first page of replies.

Does PTSD last forever? If something horrible happened to you and you feel horrible when you remember it, is that necessarily PTSD? Don't people without PTSD react much the same way when ugly memories come up? Does the fact that more such things happened in your life (naturally creating more memories) than in the average person's life necessarily mean you have PTSD? At what point do a host of bad memories turn into a PTSD diagnosis? It's a little fuzzy, if you ask me.

Another thought: How far back in time have you gone in therapy? You might have "processed" something that happened in your 20s that would never have triggered PTSD if not for some incident from early childhood that you may not have even mentioned. Perhaps the early, original trauma does not even feel traumatic when you think of it.

I've been looking into pychoanalysis lately for its holistic, whole psyche, whole person, whole history approach, rather than this bag of tricks (EMDR, PE, etc.) that isolates memories as though they are separate from the person having them.

 

[Dolphin Lady]

Been busy trying to get some help. Now on priority waiting list for CBT so hopefully this will be before 10 weeks! I am going stir crazy, have spoken with my manager. She is really lovely and very helpful. Doesn't want me to return to work before Christmas, but we shall see.
I have made the decision to move to another team at work for a while so that I can work on my recovery away,(hopefully) from any triggers. I do not want this, but it seems that the only way to recover is to move away from my current situation and allow my brain to heal.