cherryblossom
VIP Member
I have written about this in my diary, but I could use some help, so I apologise for the repetitions.
First a little bit of background. I was diagnosed with PTSD probably about 6 years ago, from a single incident about 17 years ago. Since then I've tried various anti-depressants with little success. I have also sought help during times of crisis, when my PTSD symptoms are too much to cope with. I've had bad experiences with therapists/ psychiatrists/ psychologists, so I basically stopped all therapy and meds. PTSD symptoms are back with a vengeance and I need help. The GP I've been seeing for the last few years has always been very good. He listens and understands, and does not treat me like an idiot. About a month ago, he finally persuaded me to give counselling another go. He understood that I did not want to go back to the same people I've seen before and said that he would look into finding a trauma specialist. I have not seen him since, but got a “Referral for counselling” in the post today.
I can only assume that he couldn’t find a trauma specialist, and this is the best he could come up with. I can’t find the word ‘trauma’ mentioned anywhere in the information. I really don’t consider having PTSD (as a result of being raped at knife point) “a general life crisis”.
I find it incredibly difficult to talk about what happened to me. It takes me a long time to build up any trust to be able to open up. I don’t forsee five 50 minute sessions with a generalised consellor, being very helpful. I’m dubious because I had EMDR, which was rushed through, with no preparation or help dealing with the aftermath. The results of which caused me much more harm than good. I was totally re-traumatised. I’m concerned this would happen again. I can’t envisage being able to open up much in such a short time, since I have big issues with trust. I am concerned that if I do manage to talk, I will simply open up a whole can of worms that will be no-where near resolved by the end of 5 sessions. I will then be left with no help and in a worse position than I am now. It is also at the same surgery where I had EMDR. Just going back to that place will be traumatic enough. Even driving past the place causes an anxiety reaction. I don’t expect counselling to be a walk in the park, but I don’t know if this is right for me. They also clearly have no flexibility in arranging a time suitable for me, which is going to be difficult since I have a full time job.
I know that I need help, it was this desperation that led me to agree for my GP to refer me. However the thought of any kind of ‘talking therapy’ makes me feel sick and anxious, and fills me with dread.
I would like opinions from you guys as to whether you think the type of therapy they describe sounds like the right way forward for someone with longstanding PTSD?
Are my concerns legitimate, or am I just using excuses to continue to avoid talking therapy?
All opinions welcome,
Thanks, CB
First a little bit of background. I was diagnosed with PTSD probably about 6 years ago, from a single incident about 17 years ago. Since then I've tried various anti-depressants with little success. I have also sought help during times of crisis, when my PTSD symptoms are too much to cope with. I've had bad experiences with therapists/ psychiatrists/ psychologists, so I basically stopped all therapy and meds. PTSD symptoms are back with a vengeance and I need help. The GP I've been seeing for the last few years has always been very good. He listens and understands, and does not treat me like an idiot. About a month ago, he finally persuaded me to give counselling another go. He understood that I did not want to go back to the same people I've seen before and said that he would look into finding a trauma specialist. I have not seen him since, but got a “Referral for counselling” in the post today.
“On receipt of your forms, you will be added to the waiting list. You can expect to wait approximately 12 weeks for an appointment”
"This information should help you to decide if you would benefit from receiving counselling."
The counsellor will :
Listen carefully to what you say
Enable you to express your feelings
Help you explore and understand your difficulties
Help you to find ways of managing these effectively
Help you develop more helpful ways of thinking and behaving.
Although it may sometimes be appropriate to offer advice and guidance the emphasis is very much enabling you to change, rather than telling you what to do. You will be collaborating on how to make positive change and this may involve doing some homework or trying some new thinking or actions between sessions.
You will be offered six sessions of counselling.
The service is for people who are suffering from symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress or other related conditions due to general life crisis. It is a short term service."
" You will meet with your counsellor and if all goes well, you will be offered a further five sessions lasting 50 minutes each.
If you are unable to accept the first appointment slot offered, we will offer you one more slot. If you are unable to accept either, your case will be referred back to your GP"
I can only assume that he couldn’t find a trauma specialist, and this is the best he could come up with. I can’t find the word ‘trauma’ mentioned anywhere in the information. I really don’t consider having PTSD (as a result of being raped at knife point) “a general life crisis”.
I find it incredibly difficult to talk about what happened to me. It takes me a long time to build up any trust to be able to open up. I don’t forsee five 50 minute sessions with a generalised consellor, being very helpful. I’m dubious because I had EMDR, which was rushed through, with no preparation or help dealing with the aftermath. The results of which caused me much more harm than good. I was totally re-traumatised. I’m concerned this would happen again. I can’t envisage being able to open up much in such a short time, since I have big issues with trust. I am concerned that if I do manage to talk, I will simply open up a whole can of worms that will be no-where near resolved by the end of 5 sessions. I will then be left with no help and in a worse position than I am now. It is also at the same surgery where I had EMDR. Just going back to that place will be traumatic enough. Even driving past the place causes an anxiety reaction. I don’t expect counselling to be a walk in the park, but I don’t know if this is right for me. They also clearly have no flexibility in arranging a time suitable for me, which is going to be difficult since I have a full time job.
I know that I need help, it was this desperation that led me to agree for my GP to refer me. However the thought of any kind of ‘talking therapy’ makes me feel sick and anxious, and fills me with dread.
I would like opinions from you guys as to whether you think the type of therapy they describe sounds like the right way forward for someone with longstanding PTSD?
Are my concerns legitimate, or am I just using excuses to continue to avoid talking therapy?
All opinions welcome,
Thanks, CB