Is your PTSD Cup size changing?

brat17

MyPTSD Pro
Recovery4Me-omg I didn't get it til now. The joke is clear, my mind is dull.lol I have always been lucky to be thin so have never dieted. That is in part the my foods of choice are usually healthy ones. (I love a big salad) So I dont really have a plan yet. I dont know about my insurance but it likely wouldn't work right now anyway. I had endo and colonoscopy scheduled for the 5th and they postponed because hospital is only doing electives on M and F. They rescheduled for 18th but now all electives are cancelled because of covid.

Which actually relates to ptsd cup. My husband worked for a hospital for 40 yrs. In Aug 2019 they announced they were closing. All the drs in our insurance plan left to open offices on their own or with other hospitals. Our insurance was crappy anyway. But from August thru Feb I had insurance but no drs. They let him go in Jan. then we had no insurance. He took another job in April and insurance kicked in May, but we were deep into covid. By the time I could get a gastro appt it was october. I also had to see a urologist and have a procedure scheduled. I did get to gyne and have mamo this summer. I still dont have a pulmonologist or opthomologist or neurosurgeon or allergist.

All this....my cup do runneth over. Along side with the covid, all these income and insurance issues have prevented normal care. There are just so many things that go along with covid, like routine healthcare mentioned above, but also keeping us from home repairs that are inside. I know I am not alone in this and am grateful for what we do have. Just makes me nervous
 

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
@brat17 Oh dear! You are both handling a fistful of frets. So sorry but so impressed over your positivity...just so you know. What is your go-to tool, if I may ask?

Mine is squeezing my Service Dog or being interrupted by my Service Dog when I am overwhelmed....must be the scent I give off (fear? Lol). My second go to tool is deep breathing and grounding in the now (sometimes I need to yell at my thought to get out). <Neighbors must love that one.
 

brat17

MyPTSD Pro
Recovery4Me-clearly it has been munching...lol. I also use deep breathing and attempts at meditation. I often look at pictures to elevate my mood and put things in perspective. Also, I have 2 dogs, a golden retriever and chocolate lab to love on and get some good love from. The big one thinks he is a lap dog at 85# and just petting them is very calming.
 

brat17

MyPTSD Pro
My cup runneth over. Today my sister with bladder cancer found out it spread to the liver. So she cannot have bladder removed.
My backdoor friend that has lived there for 25 years is moving South in the morning. She is a really good friend that lives across the alley and we have been there for each other over the years. I guess covid is just not enough!!!
 

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
@brat17 Know that our prayers are with you and your sister sending love, light and a dose of endurance spiritually. I can not imagine walking in your moccasins...but I can listen as your footsteps travel forward and be present while you rest.
 

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
I have noticed that after the adrenaline slows from the onslaught of stress, that it is hard to accept the flat line feeling of decompression. I am working hard not to fill the calm with additional stimulus from current events or seek subconscious ‘fixes’ or jolts to repump adrenaline or encourage hypervigilance. I thank everyone for their support as well as their thoughts. It really was helpful. Now I’m going to try to detox for a while and take some time out to self regulate. Love and light to all. Thank you again.
 

brat17

MyPTSD Pro
The past few days it has been very hard for me to decompress. My husband has taken a huge interest in our political climate in the last year or so, and has the tv on national news whenever he doesn't have sports on. Im not a big football fan like it seems everyone else is. Anyway, I think its that repetition of recent events here in the US that has the hair on my neck standing up. Inclined to seek a "fix" as well. So I go to my room and watch some old reruns of anything.....trying to find an altered reality I suppose.

Having the feeling of "waiting for the left shoe to drop", or expecting the worst. Its really hard not to do that when its not an unreasonable possibility. Still, my cup is being managed as I get sleep somehow and eat pretty healthy. Of course to eat healthy, must go to store, and in order to go to store you must get dressed, etc. With the covid....even that is somewhat stressful these days.

Anyway, I am guessing that anyone living in US since Jan 6th either has a full cup or is somehow managing it. Sure is trying times. Be safe all!
 
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