It Happened. Now What?

[Ghostybear73]

Okay, well that kind of puts a damper on things. If you don't know how you got to where you were, is it possible you were drugged? I know that sounds silly, but I shot up (drugged) a lot to make me easier to handle. The reason I ask is that it might protect you for the day if you are able to stay away from anything given to you, like a drink

 

[mytai]

My T knows what has been happening, but she is the only one. My family doesn't know because my parents refuse to acknowledge it happened when I was a kid and it hurts too much to tell someone who says it didn't happen because they don't want to believe it did. I don't trust anyone. My T is the closest thing I have to trust.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Also, there is no way you can forget if you are still there. So, that leads to another problem, if you can't forget you have to fight. I know in your position one day is a long time, but you need to arm yourself with information to help you

 

[mytai]

@Ghostybear73 I don't remember having alcohol tonight, I think I just stuck to water. And why would my family drug me? It doesn't make sense to me. Is it possible to dissociate so much you don't remember how you got somewhere? I also didn't feel drugged. I'm a light weight with anything more than over the counter medication.

 

[TwoDee2ThreeDee]

Yes, it is very possible to dissociate and have a chunk of time missing - It may be that just being home with all the reminders could put you in that state. Have you called the number yet? They can probably help...

 

[Ghostybear73]

Yes it is possible. I'm just going over the things that are popping into my mind. If your uncle is hurting you and has been waiting for a while, then desperation can make them drug you. However, You can definitely dissociate to that extent, especially in the situation you are in. You are not in your comfort zone, in fact you are in the middle of the war zone and I know it's not fair, but at the moment all you can do is find ways to keep it from happening again tonight.

 

[Ghostybear73]

I agree with TwoDee and think you should call the number to get help and talk with someone who has better insight into what you can do given your situation

 

[TwoDee2ThreeDee]

And please remember that this is not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong.[DOUBLEPOST=1388036625][/DOUBLEPOST]

you should call the number to get help and talk with someone who has better insight into what you can do given your situation

 

[mytai]

If your uncle is hurting you and has been waiting for a while, then desperation can make them drug you. However, You can definitely dissociate to that extent, especially in the situation you are in. You are not in your comfort zone, in fact you are in the middle of the war zone and I know it's not fair, but at the moment all you can do is find ways to keep it from happening again tonight.

My family doesn't know he was still hurting me. He also isn't someone who is allowed over to family events because he is a known child molester (of other family members many years ago).

Dissociating seems so comforting right now, I know I need to fight it so I can stay in control and be aware, I also know from what my T tells me that I need to stay present no matter how comforting it seems. It puts me in dangerous situations because I don't know what is happening.

 

[mytai]

@TwoDee2ThreeDee I called three times. First time I hung up immediately, second time I tried to talk and stuttered and couldn't get anything coherent out, third time I blurted out what happened and they told me to go to the nearest ER and have them contact the police.

 

[mytai]

And please remember that this is not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong.

I don't know that. I don't remember what I did. It's entirely possible it is my fault and I did something wrong. I don't know unless I remember.

 

[TwoDee2ThreeDee]

Your doing really well, mytai. You're articulating well, you're remembering what your therapist taught you. You're going to be ok. Just breathe and think about what you need to do next to protect yourself.