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It Makes It Infinitely More Difficult.

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 34535
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Deleted member 34535

It is hard enough for all of us with our PTSD along with accompanying diagnosis to get through each day one at a time with the most positive attitude we can possibly muster. And now, far too often, we now have to deal with the hideous news that a group of soulless, evil barbarians are perpetrating unthinkable horror on freedom loving people across the globe. Many, if not the vast majority of us got our PTSD as a result of evil acts that were perpetrated upon us. So when we see far too often that another act of evil terror has been done, it is a natural trigger for us. I have been feeling pretty good, and when I heard the news of the attack in France, it put me in a nasty mood that I have not been able to shake. To make it worse, common sense tells me that it is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better. We need to treat ourselves extremely well during this period of time. We need to double down on our wellness plan. And we need to constantly remind ourselves that these soulless barbarians are a minority and not the majority. It is difficult to remain upbeat for those who do not have PTSD. So for all of us, we need to treat ourselves with a lot of tender loving care. I wish serenity for everyone.
 
Before I was diagnosed and had symptoms of ptsd, I had to turn off tv at times and limit what I watched to stay healthy, it really bothered me. Now days I feel desensatized to some of this. I feel terrible for the people, have some empathy, then just like chalk it up. I feel disconnected. I believe my vision of the world is so distorted that I dont expect any better.
 
You probably will NOT want to visit this page, then http://www.cfr.org/global/global-conflict-tracker/p32137#!/ which tracks the more major armed conflicts going on in the world.

It's hardly comprehensive, and extremely biased towards US interests & military involvement. Isolated & intermittent terror attacks? Don't even make the list. Much less local tragedy, travesty, crime, & disaster. If I were to overlay various maps? Nearly the whole world would be lit up

^^^^
This? Was my life for many years. Most people sort of fall in love -or get stuck- in a region, I tended towards conflict hopping. Just what I was used to, maybe. The era I served in wasn't during OEF / OIF. It was before that, when the USMC was sent scattered all over the globe, and then my time with NGOs and other groups was basically whomever I happened to run into / had work going. There's always work going. Somewhere.

When I got out of that life? What I was training for in school required massive numbers of history classes. Which, no matter how f*cked I believed the world before? And I was suuuuuuuper jaded coming from where I was... Really put things in perspective. It's always been like this, or -more commonly- much, much, much worse.

To me? That's comforting. Both the present conflicts & crisis... As well as the broader historical perspective.

People? Are just really f*cking amazing. :D As a species there is just simply so much determination, and ingenuity, and adaptability... And individuals? HFS, are individuals worth both living & dying for.

It used to kill me, the first few years I opted out. Was determined not to ring up friends and contacts when news of this disaster, that conflict, this crisis, that hotspot hit the AP. I remember holding onto my phone with one hand, and my baby with the other, and just bawling. Where I needed to be, and where I wanted to be? Were just 2 entirely different continents. Later, it was even harder in many ways, as my friends slowly died off or disappeared, as my contacts dried up, as I became more and more removed. It became hard to pay attention to the news... Because I knew that personally, I simply wasn't willing to do anything about it. I've never been special, or high ranking, or highly sought after. I didn't go to these places because they needed me... I went because I needed them. I needed to be doing. Maybe not much. But doing something.

The hard thing for me isn't hearing about something kicking off in the world -something always is- the hard thing for me is not being willing to do anything about it.
 
Good news never makes the headlines. It doesn't sell Weight Watchers Memberships and the latest Frying Pan. There are far more acts of kindness and love that if they were reported, would drown out all of the carnage. This is what keeps me partially sane.
 
Well Friday, for myself and many others, you are and were special. My abuse took place at a very, very tender age. I wanted to serve and tried, but couldn't get through basic training because I was a complete mess. This is something I to this day can not forgive myself for. I think I will have to wait for the Pearly Gates to get that one done. I wanted to serve badly, but my phobias and fears wouldn't allow me to do so. Maybe I can serve in God's Army when I get there. God Bless You. I am sure I speak for everyone here in saluting you.
 
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