It Must Be Nice To Have A Mom

[Froggie]

@AngelaMarie ... I have tears of joy flowing reading what you wrote. You so deserved this.

 

[anni]

Nope, you never know! Your post made me smile a ton an needed that- thanks! I got distracted with you all speaking all those languages-always am fascinated when people can do that. So much fun to listen to, even if I can't sort it out. Took 4 years of German, spoke with German citizens and found out I knew exactly nothing. What a cool thing for your children to be around, plus the sort of wonderful family feeling the day was. Funny how things turn around when least expected-thanks for the post. :)

 

[Nicolette]

For the first time I felt like I am getting an adopted family. It was like having an adopted mom, sis, brother and the boys. It was one of the best nights I can remember. We just never know, do we???:):p:cool:

AngelaMarie you can make your own family..... you don't have to conform to what is standard to enjoy similar relationships with healthier people. My son and I have an "adopted" family who have been in our lives for 18 years now and we have shared all the weddings, births, christenings, special birthdays and thankfully no deaths as yet. They are wonderful people, Sri Lankan and that holds no boundaries.

My mother lives..... I wish her well, she is just no longer a part of my family and that's ok as I have Anthony, children and others who love me. His family are good to me too. I refer back to my post of [DLMURL="https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/mothers-versus-female-parent.18397/"]Mother versus Female Parent[/DLMURL].

 

[Fabulously_Screwed_Up]

AngelaMarie, I'm so glad you're doing better. Your original post made me very sad for you. I hope you continue to develop healthy relationships with people who value you and love you for who you are. I've felt those guilt-trips over my own relationship with my three beautiful children when I'm not 100% there for them; but, you know what? Feelings -ANY feelings- are OK. It's how we choose to act upon those feelings that makes a difference between "right" & "wrong."

If you continue to be open, loving and have a good channel of communication with your babies (mine are teenagers now, but they are still my "babies,") they WILL understand. Sometimes my own amaze me at how well they "get" me & accept me, and how mature they have become. Granted, it's not all peachy / rosy every day, but at least we are able to TALK about it. We have talked about my own life experiences (my mother neglected me -I was the last of her ten children- and she not only was an enabler -to the perps & abusers- but an abuser herself.) I have made it clear to my children that I REFUSE to become my mother, and that if I ever regress into her type of behavior, I have made a mistake and I'm deeply sorry. We continue to go to therapy (individual & family) and make "family time" whenever possible within our busy schedules.

Anyway, I don't want to make this too long. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your creating this thread, that I sympathize, and that I wish you only the best.

Hugs!

 

[Fabulously_Screwed_Up]

@Nicolette

I'm new here, so I was just curious about this:

Forum Network: PTSD Forum - Survive Sexual Abuse Forum - Combat PTSD Forum

which is listed below your post. Are all these connected somehow as part of a network? Are they automatically added to your signature (I see that you are listed as "Administrator,") or did you manually add them?

Thanks! :-)

 

[Nicolette]

Are they automatically added to your signature (I see that you are listed as "Administrator,")

Welcome Fabulously_Screwed_Up. :) Yes - automatic due to being an Admin.

 

[Tinyflame]

I am so happy for you AngelaMarie and I think it goes to show you how much your friend and her mother consider you and your boys part of their extended family to want to include you and make you feel welcome.

And I bet your friend has told her mom about how sweet and wonderful you are and have been to her and that her mom is thankful and happy her daughter has such a wonderful friend and loves you for that as well.

((((((AngelaMarie :inlove:))))))

 

[Tabitha]

I know this is an older thread but I just wanted to say to the original poster, I don't think it's silly at all to feel like an abandoned little girl. I get that feeling quite often actually.

I'm 28 years old and my father & mother both rarely wanted anything to do with me. Thankfully I was raised by my amazing grandparents whom I love with all my heart and soul. :-) My father told one of his ex girlfriends that he "couldn't stand to be around me because I looked like my mother" WOW! Talk about heart wrenching right? And my mother has told me time and time again that she never really wanted kids and I was an accident.

My father has 5 other children (my half siblings) and 3 grandchildren from my half sisters and it feels like a stab straight to the heart when I see him laughing and playing and coddling the grandchildren. I'd just like to SCREAM in his face..."Why not me?! Why couldn't you be there for me?" But I don't, I smile like it doesn't bother me but inside I regress to this sad, big blue eyed, blonde haired child with tears in my eyes ...

I just wanted to tell you I know exactly what that "hole" in your heart feels like to be without a loving mother & father. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this, but I agree with others that your children and lucky to have you and at least they can say they have a mom that loves them very much.

 

[Sandra]

I can so relate to that about my parents telling me I was an accident.

 

[Britt.f7]

I can so relate to that about my parents telling me I was an accident.

I started saying I was a surprise. I didn't want to think I was an accident.

 

[Britt.f7]

Most of the time I try not to think about the hole that has been in my life from not having parents.

I'm sorry you had experienced such loneliness.

I had a mother but we did not get along until my late twenties. Whenever I hear of friends talk about their mothers as their best friends, I always wonder what that is like. What is it like to never think bad of your own mom? I think it must have been magic.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I had emdr today and worked on a memory with my mom. I never had the relationship I wanted with her. But after the divorce I reached out to her and told her that we did not know how much time we had left and so she wrote me a letter I could have used my whole life. My dad went through my stuff and found the letter and tore it up. My mom got killed in a plane crash shortly afterwards. I realized today that I had a spark of reconciliation with my mom and no one can take that away from me.

I am glad that I have that closure with my mom.

I am happy that you have your mom and a chance at reconciliation. I think it makes a big difference. I am glad you had such a fun time out with friends. I always love times like that. We need alot of times like that.

My heart goes out to you. Big hugs.