It's Been Awhile...

[Marmalade]

Hi: I'm back.

Was ill there for awhile, didn't communicate to many. But have started feeling better now, so thought I might link up again, not that I've been very communicative since joining, but I want to keep trying.

The health issues centered around a very bad flare-up of fibromyalgia and CFS with total body involvement, and then my bowel flared up with IBS and/or diverticulitis. Put quite simply, I was a mess, but with alot of prayer and some good home care (from me) I got through it. I don't want to go into details, (was that a collective sigh of relief I heard?), suffice to say it was a hard time.

Prior to the situation getting really bad I finally made some hard decisions and began clearing up and cleaning out an apartment that was overflowing with alot of unneeded and unused 'stuff"'. I got some friends to help, and hired an professional advisor as well. The place is beginning to look a lot better, I still have a long way to go, but I have made a start and I feel good about that.

Have you ever noticed a parallel between what is going on in your life physically and what is happening emotionally as well ? It keeps happening to me, sometimes not often enough though. I have slowly begun to get my strength and etc. back. Then, within the last two weeks one good friend has moved to be closer to her family; another supportive family of three has moved far away; a church group, of which I was a member, has folded and some of the participants have moved, or withdrawn their prayer support. Some of these moves came as a surprise to me, others did not, but I thought I could handle it all. After all, I'm an adult, and we all have bumps in the road.

But...I've started having flashbacks, disturbing dreams and am now going into what I know (historically) could be another bad time emotionally and mentally. I can't seem to get on top of it and feel I am slipping again. And I was beginning to do so well, so I thought. Sometimes I think I'm going to do okay now, and then something comes out of left-field, so-to-speak, throws me off balance again, and I feel I was only fooling myself. So, I guess it's back to the drawing board again......All the best to everyone out there. ta-ta for now. Marmalade

 

[BethRSA]

Welcome back Marmalade,

Totally understand about how hard it is when support system moves away or is unavailable. That's why I found the forum--friends moved, or on holiday, or sick with cancer (so they have enough to deal with).

Start "talking" again with us. We'll listen

 

[Grama-Herc]

Welcome Back

This thing call PTSD is a sneaky, mean spirited entity that loves sneaking up on us when we least expect it.

Sometimes it sneaks up slowly and other times it jumps right up in our face and slaps us. Sadly, it always will. All we can do it try and ride out the hard times knowing that this to shall pass. We need to also enjoy the good times knowing that THIS to shall pass.

PTSD does not go away. Therefore, as the sufferer, we need to learn how to manage our symptoms and live as good a life as we can.

I have learned over the years to "ride out the storm", acknowledge it is there, allow myself a day/days in bed as needed and not punish myself for the way I handle that so called "storm".

While it is more than likely not advisable, my main support is the forum. I have no friend to count on, but with years of therapy behind me I am managing fairly well.
I hope you will be able to do the same.

 

[cat]

Hi Marmalade

Welcome back but sorry to hear things are not good for you right now.

I was diagnosed with CFS last June & thought I was doomed to a life of fatigue. Then in November I was diagnosed with PTSD, at my first appointment with my psychologist we discussed CFS & her view was that it is largely psychological & that my symptoms were more likely to be connected to PTSD. I have had weekly appointments with her for the last 18wks & true enough my CFS symptoms are almost gone. I do still get tired but I think from the therapy (I'm having EMDR) & no longer suffer from the extreme fatigue which as you know you can do nothing about other than give in to it.
I have learnt much about how PTSD affects us physically & find the more I 'listen' to my body the easier it is to understand my emotions. Have you read 'Waking the Tiger' by Peter Levine. It's well worth a read & is a good explanation of this.

The up & down times of PTSD are very difficult & I find hard to accept that I will have these symptoms for life. As Grama-Herc explains it is like riding a storm, some days its easier to do than others, the difficulty I have is reacting quickly enough to use my management strategies when flashbacks occur.

I also use the forum as support, there are no support groups where I live & sometimes its easier to talk to others who personally understand what you're going through

Take care
Cat

 

[critters]

I've seen some very well adjusted individuals who didn't have that tough of a childhood go through some real bad storms in their life, and they can't blame it on PTSD or anything other than what we call "life".

With that said, life is just plain difficult for everyone, however, some are real good at hiding it.

In my opinion I don't see PTSD as a disease I will have for the rest of my life. I believe in faith, or hope if that is the word you prefer. Maybe there is no cure for it yet, but one day Sir Alexander Flemming invented Penicillin and it cured Tuberculosis among other things. Now it's called an anti-biotic, which can save lives.

I refuse to give up and give in to this thing called PTSD. I may have symptoms of this label I was given, but it does not have symptoms of me. So we are not one, but interact with each other.

Sorry to hear that it put you under the weather, but like the weather, it will change and there will be bright days ahead of you again.

critters