Jealously?

[Bfab]

My bf is in the hospital and he asked me to pick up some items from his house. When I got there things looked different from my last visit. A door that I know was opened had closed. Lights and a fan were on and I know I turned them off. A futon had been moved and a pillow on his bed was missing.

He has a female friend that has been showing her interest since we've been together and my first thought was that she'd been there. I have no evidence that it was her but my bf has no family or friends in this area.

He knows I have the keys and that I go there on occasion so it would be off for him to have given her access too, but no other scenarios make sense.
If I ask him about It, I'm afraid of seeming like I'm being a crazy jealous gf. Not do I want to bring him drama while he is in therapy.

If I don't ask him about It, I feel like I'm being gullable. Up until this point, I've never mistrusted him because he's always been honest even of it was uncomfortable.
Am I letting jealousy get the best of me and overlooking a logical explanation? Is there a rational way to bring up my concerns when I talk to him that won't come of like I don't trust him?

 

[mary1979]

Maybe he doesn't know that someone else has been there either?
There are tonnes of possibilities other than the one you are focusing on.
Dont make any assumptions without speaking to him, and you definitely need to tell him.

 

[EveHarrington]

Landlord? Someone else who needed access to his home? I'd approach him with concern about someone being in his home while he was away. If he gets defensive, you have your answer.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Exactly... I'd just ask if anybody else has access because things are moved around. You just need to make sure nobody is breaking in or something.

 

[Friday]

Having just spent some time in hospital... I sent a few people to fetch things for me. I handed them my keys, they gave them back when they brought me things. Opportunistic, mostly. They were visiting, asked if they wanted them to fetch me anything & voila!

$5 says the missing pillow is under his head ;)

 

[Bfab]

So true. I briefly thought someone may have broken in but his door can only be locked with a key, so whoever was there had a key. I checked to see if anything was missing and it was only a pillow. His valuables were still intact.

In hind sight, someone else could have a key that he's not aware, like an ex or previous owner.

Dumb of me not to think he needs to know. I got caught up in my own insecurities.

 

[Bfab]

@FridayJones. Thanks for that laugh. Ironically, the other pillow is what he asked me to pick up.

You make a good point. While I'm stressing out, he's probably resting on his pillows with the spare key at the hospital. Lol

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I think we humans suffer a lot of angst for reasons that more often than not turn out to be nothing. I would suggest, first, that you trust your instincts, and then if you still need reassurance, just ask him if he knows of anyone else who might have been in there. Good luck with it, bfab!

 

[Thizette]

@FridayJones. Thanks for that laugh. Ironically, the other pillow is what he asked me t...

If it were me, I would still talk to him about the situation. Just a, "Hey, I couldn't find the pillow, did you ask someone else to get it for you? I was a little freaked out at the state of your apartment when I went because it looked like someone had been there."

 

[Bfab]

Update....I told him that someone was in his house and he told me it was probably the homeowners association. They do annual safety checks in his housing community around this time every year. The pillow was in his dryer, he forgot to take it out the day he went to hospital.
This was a reality check for me in that I need to stop being so insecure and start trusting.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Well, that resolved itself nicely! :) I think most of us here have trust issues, so we understand how this happens.