Sufferer Just Joined

[Just joined]

Hi, as the name suggests I've just joined this website. I'm just looking to see how others deal with certain aspects of having ptsd. I was diagnosed with ptsd about 3 years ago. I didnt even know what ptsd was back then, so I've done a lot of research, but I'm still not feeling right. In fact at times I think knowing I have ptsd...makes me give up, which is so NOT me. I used to love life, even after the trauma... But Now I have been diagnosed I am quite anti social and feel emotionally numb ALOT of the time. I'm really just wanting to know how to get over that and back to enjoying my life.

 

[Ronin]

Hi there, welcome.

Start small? Do you have any activities you enjoy that can be done around or with people, when you feel ready for that? Do you have any friends?

 

[Lynda]

Good questions. During the time I was diagnosed I ended my friendship with one of my best friends..... It was the right decision, it was unhealthy for me to be friends with her , I don't regret walking away, but now I don't feel like having friends at all. I realised I put so much time and energy into my friendships and didn't get the same level of effort back. I felt like I had wasted so much time and energy on something in my life which..... Was pointless. So I'm trying to focus on me now, getting more qualifications, making money etc...even without friends I should enjoy what I do though, I used to enjoy doing things by myself like going for walks in my mountain, now I just do it and feel nothing....I just want to know how to feel again.

 

[Nevermore]

Hello @ just joined
It's great you found this site. why do you think the diagnosis made things worse for you? For myself, the diagnosis was a relief as i then understood more what was going on and accepted that I needed to see a therapist - and I did and it has helped incredibly.
Antisocial and emotionally numb are typical PTSD symptoms - was it really only post diagnosis that they appeared?
My PTSD got worse before it started to improve - for maybe 6or 7 months after trauma I thought I was ok, then everything started to fall apart. When I say everything I probably just mean me!
Do you think that might be part of it? That you were doing ok and then that all changed?
I've had a lot of improvement through seeing a therapist and through meditation and exercise. Things really can improve.
Anyway, nice to meet you!

 

[Lynda]

Hello @ just joined
It's great you found this site. why do you think the diagnosis made things worse...

Hi, gosh lots of good questions! And by the way, thanks for taking the time to reply to my post.....In terms of the diagnosis, at first I was actually pissed off... Having to accept I have a mental illness wasn't easy for me. After did accept that and learnt more about ptsd things started making sense and did help.... But that's when my feelings changed. Before that I was always about 90% happy, I had great friends, enjoyed hanging out with them, enjoyed my job, travelling... Apart from aspects relating to the trauma/s life was good - and I actually FELT pretty good! Since the diagnoses though I have slowly but surely become numb...I have never been like this before in my life - so to answer your question it has definitely only been since the diagnoses.
I am a bit like you though.... I thought I was ok after the trauma.... In fact for over 10 years, then things went downhill and things fell apart which finally lead to my diagnoses a few years ago. Seeing a therapist helped to a point, but after over 25 sessions and $5000 later, I realised I knew a lot about ptsd now, but my feeling weren't getting any better. My triggers were still setting me off, and I wasn't managing them any better. So I stopped. Mediation isn't really for me and I did find exercise helped... But now I do exercise and still feel numb. On a logical level I can't figure out what I need to do to FEEL happy again.
Anyway, thanks for listening and nice to meet you too.

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome to the forum! :)

 

[Lynda]

Welcome to the forum! :)

Thanks :-)

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the forum!