Just Want It To Stop

[Ptsdnsilence]

@Garab thank you for that message it helped me, and to everyone else. Thank you so much.. this all honestly saved my life... I freaked out after writing that post bad replying to a few people which is which I havent responded to much. I felt like such a little cry baby, like such a bitch for someone who used to be a ranger.. not one person on here made me feel judged or belittled and everyone was so kind and you all know how I feel. I really don't know how to take it all... As much as I love my woman it's hard to be with someone who just puts you down and makes you feel like a pussy when you show the slightest bit of emotion from everything I had no one to vent to like this.. I have no friends because all the ones I did have are in jail or not really friends at all and on top of that they are all users so I distanced myself.. I don't go out because I get accused of cheating everyday when I literally sit at home and play call of duty Because I feel like I have nothing and no one now.. she has her friends that she can text and invite to hang out and as dumb as it. Sounds I feel like the little nerdy kid at school that's always getting picked on.. I feel like I'm in a battle that is impossible to win and I have no choice but to just except this and not bitch about it... I love that garab talked about how he feels like killing himself everyday because I am sure that thought crossed all of our minds more then we like to admit Because the second we say it then it's a 51 50 real quick.. you guys are great and thanks for making me feel like I am finally not alone and thanks for saving me in one of my dark lonley and scary times.. I just wanted you to all know that all the u replied messages wernt for nothing I read them all and they all me at alot... Especially the one that went of about my insecure and selfish woman lol I totally thought that every day but obviously can't say it so that not only gave me a good laugh but made me feel like I wasn't crazy for thinking it... Thank you all again