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Just Want To Be Alone

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Punky143

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I find myself almost addicted to the desire of constantly being alone. I might sound absolutely nuts, but I no longer care how others perceive me for the most part. I'm constantly reminded that I don't owe anyone anything, of the very few people I communicate little to, continue but remember, less is best. When I'm alone I can think things vs having to try and listen to my family talk at the same time that is happening in my head, its so overwhelming and not one person in my "real" life knows about it
 
I understand this completely. I spend my time as far removed from everyone as I can be. My medical team are all over me about it, but I think solitude has become my drug of choice. :(
 
I understand this completely. I spend my time as far removed from everyone as I can be. My medica...
I find it near impossible to begin to explain to anyone what the hell is going on my head since I can be so many people. It was hard enough to explain Borderline Personality to a few and that alone scared people away so why would I go down that road again? I isolate to protect. To protect the very little relationships I have left and I sad to say but I don't know how to have friends either
 
I find myself almost addicted to the desire of constantly being alone. I might sound absolutely nuts,...
Please tell me how to do this.
Every act I attempt out there has SERIOUS ramtifications on my life. I cannot eat or sleep when I start to get out there and then I need tp be around people so much I wander the mall to not be alone.
I used to love to be alone.
Now I live for that ONE person who sees me balling out my eyes and just says to me," Hey. Are you OK?"
That one sentence or even a GLANCE keeps me alive/
Absent that I feel such an urge to hurt myself that I wonder why I am fighting.
 
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