In my opinion it normally does make trauma worse to keep the trauma a secret for too long. Whilst it is a very valid and effective defence mechanism to internalise emotions and other forms of traumatic attachment, this works initially but this defence becomes less valid as the threat or threats are removed. Holding onto the trauma becomes a double bind (a contradiction), because the internalised trauma and ensuing symptom clusters, then re-traumatis the individual and the defence mechanisms. Psychological fragmentation increases, with responses to further becoming more and more schematised. Trauma internalised tends to re-traumatise and increase the separation (dissociation and fragmentation) between the parts of consciousness that hold it . A central understanding is that unprocessed and internalised attachment is held in the realm of the unconscious mind and soul, the language of the unconscious is metaphor. The trauma then seeks to become externalised and gain completion through the unconscious. Therefore without awareness of the processes that are going on the person has little control over the original trauma, without the ability to manage and seek completion and closure over the trauma(s) the trauma and the ensuing clusters of symptoms that represent the traumatised fragments of consciousness, acting unconsciously. These tend to be uncontrolled, increasing in volume and type and very difficult to manage. The more that one holds onto the trauma without seeking management and completion through externalised narratives including verbalisation, the more the unconscious will express the trauma through various forms of symptom clusters.....mental, emotional, spiritual, physical/ somatic/ sensorimotor, etc. The schematised and scripted nature of this unconscious response to the original trauma increases the likelihood and frequency of being re-traumatised.
I think that it is possible to express the trauma(s) without sharing every detail and also that one can share information through metaphor of a narrative and speak around the trauma(s) or speak or otherwise express and externalise part of the trauma(s) and create an overall narrative, thus establishing a narrative gradually. Art therapy, poetry, creative writing, drama therapy, play therapy and many other forms are used to externalise forms and parts of a narrative in addition to verbalisation. It is normal to express narratives in parts and for this to come out gradually, as and when you yourself are ready. Application to the process of conscious externalisation of a narrative is necessary, but you do have a choice in the ways that you express the trauma and at what stage in the therapeutic process. Your collection of partial narratives will come together gradually to form a whole when you are ready, be patient with yourself whilst committed to the process.
I hope this makes sense and wish you best of luck in actualising and processing your trauma.
